As we sit and wait for Scott Linehan to make his decision on the OC position, I thought it'd be fun to take a lighter look at the world that is Patrick Willis. Long time readers might recall the Patrick Willis facts we ran early last year. They were inspired by some posts I found around the Internet, particularly in forums, which were inspired by Chuck Norris Facts. For those that don't know, Chuck Norris gained Internet fame for "Chuck Norris facts" that were usually rather outlandish. Of course, when discussed in relation to Patrick Willis, they are not outlandish. They are cold, hard facts.
Since our community has expanded I thought I'd open the floor to new suggestions to be added to the mix. Also, I've found some new facts that I thought I'd share from a user at the 49ers messageboard called Candlestick Kid. Some we've seen before, some are new. There are plenty of facts out there, but these are some of my favorite. Feel free to add your own.
- There is no 'ctrl' button on Patrick Willis' computer. Patrick Willis is always in control.
- Apple pays Patrick Willis 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- Patrick Willis can see instant replays before the play happens
- Patrick Willis can sneeze with his eyes open.
Patrick Willis missing a tackle actually coincides with Halley's Comet; it happens every 75 years. Thus, it will happen approximately 3 more times in Willis' career.
- Kellen Winslow is a soldier, Patrick Willis is an army
- If you have five dollars and Patrick Willis has five dollars, Patrick Willis has more money than you.
- Patrick Willis once returned a fumble and an interception for a touchdown on the same play.
- The Flintstones show ended because Patrick Willis wanted the nickname "Bam-Bam"
- The NFL has renamed the "injury list" to "Hotel Willis" (my favorite)
- Patrick Willis was not fined for his big hit on Brad Smith. Roger Goodell knows Patrick Willis would tackle him into oblivion otherwise.
- Patrick Willis knows exactly where in the world Carmen San Diego is...because he dropped her ass for a 5 yard loss.
- One time Patrick Willis played blindfolded. He still made 14 tackles, finding the ball carrier by using the Force.
- Correction, Patrick Willis is "the force."
- The third rail won't touch Patrick Willis
- Patrick Willis once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
- Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Patrick Willis because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Patrick Willis' autobiography.
- Patrick Willis proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
- When Barack Obama won the election he had to ask permission from Patrick Willis to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Patrick Willis had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Patrick Willis can actually tackle you yesterday.
- Adrian Peterson fears Patrick Willis (had to counter the AP facts!)
- Three fourths of the world is covered by water, the other fourth is covered by Patrick Willis
- Once Clark Kent stepped into a phone booth and stepped out in a 49ers #52 jersey
Willis once tackled Mount Everest. Everest was on IR for the rest of the season.
Willis rents out the Fortress of Solitude to Superman. Superman has never been late on rent.