Okay, guys, listen up. I think it's time we had a little talk. I want to sit down here and talk like mature adults about scoring.

Yes, it's time for that talk. The prediction games birds and the prediction games bees. You would think, maybe, that it would be better for beecharmer to sit you down and have this talk. You'd be wrong, though. He knows almost nothing about birds. It's kind of sad, actually.

So, I mean... where to start? I know this is a little bit awkward, but I think we can get through this. You've taken the classes, so I don't need to tell you about where everything is. You know all about what happens when New Orleans penetrates New York's secondary. I mean, you know about it in theory. You might have even watched a video or two. I know, the videos are exciting. Heck, I'm getting excited just thinking about them!

Sorry, that might have been going too far. Let me take a step back. I thought that it might help if we took a look at a few magazines. 

<reaches into a drawer and pulls out a stack of fantasy football, Sports Illustrated, and ESPN the magazines>

Now, don't be nervous. I know this is weird. It's weird for me too. But let's take a look at the centerfold for a second.

Whoa, hey! Don't get defensive. Don't get all weird on me! I'm just trying to help. It's obvious that you've been having trouble scoring. I mean, you do want to score more prediction games points, right? Okay, then. I can tell you how to do it. How do you think I even got my name? Alright then: Let's talk about protection.

What? Hey! Where are you going? Don't you walk away from me!

Fine then! Be that way! If you don't want to score, you don't have to! I didn't even want to help you! Your mother asked me to. She's worried about you.

So, let's see who the heck scored:

Denver @ San Diego:

1. Sloan (10)
2. bayboy, grantmp, MontanaPass, howtheyscored (14)
3. bignerd (16)
4. danknerd49, whobob, PHUT!, ro128487, sfgfan, urnext, corvette49rdave, CB30, beecharmer, ProfessorBigelow, cassusriff, youngbuckeroo (20)
5. Drew K, Ten-Man, illini49er, wjackalope, JoeO (22)

Chicago @ Atlanta:

1. cassusriff (4)
2. Dub4lif3, 49erLou, DuikeBuike, sfgfan, urnext, Fooch (6)
3. danknerd49, ZeroIndulgence, ro128487, illini49er, LASVEGASNINER, leaping_larry, bignerd (12)
4. groug, 5-0, demise87, bonbrillio, wjackalope, shlecko, etb2, CB30, beecharmer (14)
5. Drew K, Ten-Man, YoungWillis, SpurredOn, mpotter14 (18)

Baltimore @ Minnesota:

1. grantmp, LASVEGASNINER, corvette49rdave (14)
2. 49erLou, leaping_larry (16)
3. bayboy, etb2 (20)
4. whobob, Ten-Man, wjackalope, Ninerfromacrossthepond, urnext (22)
5. MontanaPass, bignerd (28)

New York Giants @ New Orleans:

1. sundaysfinest, jpgarfunkle (20)
2. demise87, mpotter14, corvette49rdave, cassusriff (26)
3. Dub4lif3, DuikeBuike, snowweasel30, nocal81, 5-0, bonbrillio, jtoj, JoeO, Fooch (28)
4. nacho49 (30)
5. YoungWillis, J2daZ, groug, ro128487, BEETLE49715, etb2, CB30, youngbuckeroo (34)

Carolina @ Tampa Bay:

1. PHUT! (6) - That's called getting PHUT!ed!
2. renke81, illini49er (8)
3. Ten-Man (10)
4. wjackalope, jpgarfunkle, etb2, beecharmer (14)
5. albertoleecho, sfgfan, MontanaPass, Ninerfromacrossthepond, urnext, jtoj, bignerd (16)

Arizona @ Seattle:

1. youngbuckeroo (16)
2. Mike Hawk (18)
3. Dub4lif3 (22)
4. Drew K, whobob (34)
5. nacho49, bignerd, ProfessorBigelow (36)

So that makes our week six leaderboard look like this: 

Yowza. Nobody could do better than 20 in the New Orleans game? Really? All it would have taken was a bad prediction in that game to steal five points. For shame. Sixteen was the low score in Arizona? These are scores that wouldn't net you a single point in any other week! I mean, I had just about the worst week that anybody could have had. I picked four losers. Four! And I was only even close on zero of them.

And you let me off the hook. How did I run away with four points this week? There's only one person to blame for that: All of you.

Okay, enough of that. You didn't all suck. Some of you did pretty darn well. And you should be recognized for it.

Our man wjackalope had a pretty good week. And we all know he's been itching for one. He took seven points this week to jump... one spot? Really? Just one? Wow. Man, that was a lot of good work to only take one spot in the standings. Rough. Good job nonetheless.

So who made it so darn hard for him?

PHUT!, cassusriff, bignerd, and etb2. Great weeks all. I was going to pick the ones who did especially well, but you all were pretty awesome here, going in that seven to ten point range. wjackalope can blame the lot of you for the fact that he's not in the top five this week.

And cassusriff in particular should be back on our radar. After previously holding first place, he missed a week, did just enough to stay around the top last week, and is now back in the running with a vengeance.

I should probably just mention everybody in the top ten. ro12847 didn't have a great week, but came extremely close to stealing first place. And jpgarfunkle continues to look good (seriously, he's a good looking fella).

I want to mention whobob and corvette49rdave, too. Though they started late and have yet to climb the ranks, I keep seeing their names and if they stay in the game and keep playing like thus, they can probably compete for playoff spots.

Fooch, also, made a few moves this week. I always keep my eye on him because it's only a matter of time before he drops that 30 point week on us that he's been saving up for two and a half years.

And we like to talk about intangibles, so it's probably worth noting how clutch I am. Based only on this one week's worth of data, it should be obvious to anybody that I will always hunker down and score some Monday night points to keep you below me in the standings. CLUTCH. I'm like Jeter. You should totally see the calmness in my eyes.

Overall, it was a fun week. A lot of people scored who probably thought they had no chance. There was a lot of movement on the boards, and the top 15 is seriously tight right now. Wait... people scoring... things being tight... oh no... not again....

It might be time to stop.

And remember to double-check your scores! Let last week be a lesson to you.

In the week before their departure to Arrakis, when all the final scurrying about had reached a nearly unbearably frenzy, and old crone came to visit the mother of the boy, Paul.