Patrick Willis Facts: The dead serious truth about Bamm Bamm

All the way back in January of last year I stumbled across something called Patrick Willis facts over at Yardbarker.  They basically took a few of the Chuck Norris facts and turned them into Patrick Willis facts.  They also developed some of their own and we built on that with an assortment of new ones.  We brought it back in March after I stumbled across more facts at the 49ers.com messageboard.  And, of course, this past January we brought it back one more time during OC Watch 2009.

Since that time the Niners Nation community has increased thanks in large part to our Yahoo Sports deal.  In our Story Ideas Open Thread, tanos135 asked to have it brought back, so I thought now was as good a time as any to try and generate some more Patrick Willis facts.  I'll post a bunch of the old ones and let's see what new ones we can come up with.  Again, some of these are old Norris facts, but still amusing nonetheless.  The first one was a comment from sam23 I noticed in our early Madden ratings post a while back.  I made a slight adjustment to fit the phrasing of a fact.  Enjoy!

  • In the Madden ratings, Patrick Willis is actually a 198, the third digit just doesn’t show up.
  • The Flintstones show ended because Patrick Willis wanted the nickname "Bamm-Bamm"
  • The NFL has renamed the "injury list" to "Hotel Willis"
  • Patrick Willis knows exactly where in the world Carmen San Diego is...because he dropped her ass for a 5 yard loss.
  • One time Patrick Willis played blindfolded.  He still made 14 tackles, finding the ball carrier by using the Force.
  • Correction, Patrick Willis is "the force."
  • Patrick Willis can see instant replays before the play happens
  • Kellen Winslow is a soldier, Patrick Willis is an army
  • Patrick Willis missing a tackle actually coincides with Halley's Comet; it happens every 75 years. Thus, it will happen approximately 3 more times in Willis' career.
  • Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Patrick Willis because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Patrick Willis' autobiography.
  • Patrick Willis proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
  • According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Patrick Willis can actually tackle you yesterday.
  • Adrian Peterson fears Patrick Willis (had to counter the AP facts!)
  • Willis once tackled Mount Everest. Everest was on IR for the rest of the season.
  • Patrick Willis once returned a fumble and an interception for a touchdown on the same play.
  • 'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Patrick Willis. After a workout, Patrick Willis rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
  • Patrick Willis wears pads and a helmet because it is mandated by the league rules. Everyone else in the NFL wears pads and a helmet because of Patrick Willis.
  • Willis wasn't slowed by the rookie wall. Willis WAS the rookie wall
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