Yes, I'm ripping off the Chuck Norris concept and replacing "roundhouse kicks" with "tackles":

Mike Singletary once tackled someone so hard that his shoulder broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Mike Singletary doesn't churn butter. He tackles the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Mike Singletary can sneeze with his eyes open.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Mike Singletary once and he will tackle you in the face.

Mike Singletary can tackle you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their chest and yell "What The Hell was That?"

If tapped, a Mike Singletary tackle could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Mike Singletary doesn’t shave; he tackles himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Mike Singletary is Mike Singletary.