When Fantasy Football "Experts" Go Too Far...

by Brendan Scolari on Aug 29, 2009 12:53 AM PDT Comment 10 comments

This link brings you to a guide. The guide can best be described as a sham. Anyone who takes the time to read this guide is a fool. Reading this guide is an arduous process that I hope no man (or woman) ever has to endure. What is this guide?

Wait for it....

It's a fantasy football guide called, "The Complete Guide To Kickology, 3rd Edition". I pray no one has ever actually read all three editions. The reason is because this is a 92 page guide on kickers in fantasy football!!!!!! No running backs, no wide receivers, just... kickers... I know right now your probably saying, "Child, please..." but this is no joke. Some evil soul named Mike Herman wrote this guide for footballguys.com. Is this not madness?

And worst of all, this is supposed to persuade me to subscribe to their site. This is a segment of the email I received which intoduced me to this "guide":

Couple of things, it's 2:26 am as I type this. We said we'd work hard for you. Sometimes that means odd hours. And that's fine. It's just a small indication that we want to earn your business. The second thing is that I want to give you this super cool report by our Mike Herman. It's 92 pages. On KICKERS. Overkill? Maybe. I like to call it thoroughness. It's another small indication of the kind of comprehensiveness and detail we'll go into for you. There are tons of sites out there claiming to be experts and claiming that they'll dig deep to give you information. We want to prove it to you...

BUT, if you want more of that type of information, you'll need to subscribe to our Premium Subscription.

Far from making me want to pay to get more of this "thoroughness", I want to run away in fright. The only thing you've proven is that there are people who care A LOT more about fantasy football than me. Like WAY TOO MUCH. Like, "Please get away from me now you freak!!!!". That much. Also, I love how you sending me this at 2:26 AM shows that your fantasy site is the best. Would this email have been less egregious if you had sent it at an earlier time?? If so, please do that from now on.

(Sorry footballguys, but this was... a bad idea.)

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.

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Comments

it is funny though

the thought of someone typing 92 pages in the dead of night about athletes’ foot and soccer shoes and all things kicker is sadly funny. Does that mean I should return editions 1 and 2?

by 4th and long. on Aug 29, 2009 7:19 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

92 freakin' pages!?

about fantasy football kickers?

I’m impressed – I can’t even get one sentence in about a kicker before I suddenly realize my left hand is holding a razor blade and is pressing it up against my wrist.

by Andrew Davidson on Aug 29, 2009 7:57 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

LOL

Exactly.

by Brendan Scolari on Aug 29, 2009 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

So

What does it say about Joe Nedney?

by chikmagnet_565 on Aug 29, 2009 9:11 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGOB6rid5VI

It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazin that s*** up everyday.

by 49erLou on Aug 29, 2009 10:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I've already seen that video

I have Daivd Akers as my fantasy kicker….which is pretty good because it seems like the Eagles will be scoring a lot of points this season.

by chikmagnet_565 on Aug 29, 2009 11:51 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don't know

Like I said I didn’t read it.

by Brendan Scolari on Aug 30, 2009 3:29 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Nedney

Joe Nedney coincidentally happens to be one of the featured kickers interviewed for the article. If you want to skip to the parts with his responses, they can be found in sections 6, 10, 15, 17, 25, 26, 33 and 36. Or go to this link for the transcript.

by HermanKickology on Sep 6, 2009 5:12 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I don’t play fantasy football anymore, but when I did footballguys.com was by far the best resource available for fantasy football information. I agree that 92 pages on kickers is a little much, but if you’re inclined to pay $20 or so for a season’s worth of fantasy football information, you won’t go wrong there.

Waiting for Giants and Niners to contend once more.

by dcp on Aug 30, 2009 10:03 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs