FanPost

Storytime With Da Niners (Re-incarnated!)

During the last season I wrote up a couple of post game recaps in sort of a "storytime" fashion.  I thought I'd repost the one about the Texan's game seeing as it is summer and we are all starved for interesting Niner stuff. (See it after the jump).  I've put a poll in at the bottom to see if  any of you guys want me to do one of these for each of last year's games (in a different format/style of course, just to keep it interesting).  If you want me to keep doing this, but change up the format, please let me know your desired style in the comments.  Star Trek style, Monty Python, soap opera, sci fi, horror (cough, cough, last Cardinals game) etc.

It came to mind how much the game today resembled an old western, including Alex Smith bursting onto the scene guns blazing when all hope seemed lost...

"It was a dark day in Texas as a ragtag band of soldiers struggled to beat off a ferocious assault by a wandering band of cutthroats. The leader of the patrol was Captain Shaun Hill, a man crippled from birth with a lame arm who had nonetheless won a captaincy by his heroics on a previous campaign. Unfortunately, bravery is not always backed up by precise military stratagem or a straight shot with a gun. Such was the case with Captain Hill. Although he fought with great courage, he ended up accidentally shooting himself and bled to death as his troops sold their lives bravely around him. All hope seemed lost, and the brave soldiers began to waver, not knowing whose orders to follow without their beloved Captain. Just as the troops were about to break and run, Captain Smith burst onto the scene with guns ablazing. The soldiers were shocked, as this man had been stripped of command and put in solitary confinement on charges of cowardice. (These charges were, of course, filed by the old general who had been discharged along with his chief of staff. The commander had been suspected of sabotage and the chief of staff seemed to be insane.) Yet with a calm demeanor and a steely glint in his eye, Captain Smith loudly yelled to follow him. With hope renewed, the soldiers gave a shout and poured forth. It was a glorious sight, Sergeant Davis alone stepping thrice to the forefront of the fight to encourage the rest by his example. Though a raw cadet, Private Crabtree followed this example and went with him into the thick of the fight. It seemed that they would yet win the day! However, the marauders quickly recovered from their shock at the ferocity of the onslaught, beat back the soldiers, and completed their slaughter. Captain Smith however, succeeded in withdrawing honorably from the field along with the bravest of the patrol. His command was restored and Captain Hill was buried unceremoniously in an unmarked grave. Among the dead and wounded were Privates Pashos, Brooks, Spikes, Franklin, and J. Smith. Pvts Rachal, Roman, and Battle were put in solitary confinement for dereliction of duty."

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.

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