Look mom! I'm an airplane!
What makes a word bad? Is it the definition? Is it the way it sounds? Or is it something different? If I hit my thumb with a hammer and yell "Shoot!" no one would be offended. But if I change the "oo" with an "i", that might not be the case. But don't those two words mean the same thing when used in that instance? And if it's the sound that's offensive, why am I not offended when I hear someone swear in Chinese? Even if we speak the same language it may not be offensive. If someone like LondonNiner says, "Bugger off you bloody daft wanker!" I'm more likely to think, "Oh those funny Brits and their silly sounding swear words." So that means a word is bad for no other reason than we say it's bad. And what does all this have to do with football? Not a lot, but after the Steelers won I said every swear word I could think of.
Ravens 24, Steelers 31
In this epic clash of gladiators, the battle was fierce and the results legendary. The Ravens defense, led by Lewis of Underarmorcus, struck a mighty first blow, forcing two fumbles on way to a 21-7 halftime lead, but the proud Steelers would not yield. Big Ben the Molester fought back, throwing two 3rd quarter touchdowns to tie the game at 21-21, setting up the thrilling finish. These powerful warriors exchanged glancing field goal blows before the Steelers finally moved in for the kill. On 3rd and 19, the Molester found Antonio Brown the Unknown for a 58 yard completion setting up Mendenhall the Maulers 2 yard death blow TD.
Quoth Harbaugh the Elder on the defeat, "We just weren't great enough today to win that football game." And lo, they weren't great enough today to win that football game. Will the mighty Ravens be able to rise from the ashes of this defeat? Quoth the raven, "Nevermore".
In 1976, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers joined the league and lost every single game in their first season. Ten of those losses came by 15 points or more, setting the record for most 15 point losses in a season. Over the last 35 years, only the '81 Colts have managed to tie that record. On Sunday, the Seahawks were one quarter of football away from joining them. Fortunately for them, they got some lucky breaks, including a Bears interception that somehow turned into a Seahawks TD. So instead of becoming only the 3rd team in NFL history to lose 10 games in one season by 15 points or more, they finished the season with only 9 losses by 15 points and 1 loss by 11 that only felt like it was more than 15.
Jay Cutler, who had only 1 rushing TD all season, ran for 2 in this game while also throwing for 2 touchdowns as the Bears easily beat the Seahawks. The Bears were especially dominant on defense, limiting the Seahawks to only 111 yards through the first three quarters. But first year coach Pete Carroll still feels there's reason for hope. After the game he said, "I see where we're going and I'm proud of that." Personally, I don't see it. It's like being proud of your kid for getting a C-, but if he was a D student last year, I guess you look for the good wherever you can find it.
As a side note, last week I got some heat for saying the Bears became the first team in NFL history to have 2 bye weeks. I then said I would admit my ignorance if the Bears didn't win this game by at least 15 points. Well, the Bears didn't win by 15, so here's me admitting I was wrong. The Seahawks totally had a chance to win this game. I also think I have a great chance to win the next $100 million powerball jackpot.
Let's play the "What would you do?" game. You're coaching a team that's trailing 21-14. You have the ball at the other team's 35 yard line but there's only 10 seconds left in the half and you're out of timeouts. Your FG kicker has made 28 of his 31 attempts on the season, including one from 51 yards, and your playing at home in a dome. What would you do? A) Send out your kicker for the FG. B) Run up the middle in the hopes of having enough time to spike the ball. C) Call a pass for the sidelines? Atlanta's coach Mike Smith chose "C" and the rest, as they say (whoever "they" are), is history. Tramon Williams intercepted the ball and ran it back 70 yards to give the Packers a 28-14 halftime lead and all the momentum in the game.
The Packers dominated the second half. Led by Aaron Rodgers who completed 31 of his 36 passes for 366 yards and 3 touchdowns, the Packers went on to have their highest scoring game in playoff history. His 366 yards passing were even more than the guy he replaced had ever had in a playoff game, whoever that was. Now the Packers go to Chicago to play the hated Bears and everyone's talking nice except for the one guy who's not even playing. Packers RB Ryan Grant, who's been out since week 1, tweeted, "1st n last tweet. Pack Fans might want 2 start booking flights 4 feb. Not looking ahead but U C we just have better players than other teams." I really hate reading text talk. The Bears responded, "Ryan hasn't played all year," said Pisa Tinoisomoa. "So what are you going to say?" Apparently nothing. I just hope the game is better than the pre-game trash talking.
Shonn Greene laid in the endzone pretending to sleep after scoring on a 16 yard run that gave the Jets a 28-14 lead with only 1:41 left to play. A short while later, as time expired, players ran out onto the field holding out their arms, tilting from side to side. OK, so what exactly is that? Oh, I get it. They're pretending they're jets. It's so clever. Maybe the 49ers should pretend to swing pick axes after every win and the Packers can pretend to ... pack something.
Mark Sanchez had only thrown 1 TD pass over his last 5 games, but he threw three in this one as he led the Jets to their second straight AFC championship game. "Maybe everybody else never believed, but we believed," said Jets coach Rex "show me your feet" Ryan. "We're now going on. Same old Jets, back to the AFC championship." Same old Jets? I guess that means we can expect them to lose next week.