Two weeks ago, I started this (now) weekly feature covering the 49ers players on Twitter. Signing up for an account yourself is easy enough and following the players not much harder than that, but where would you be without my sarcasm and commentary? I'll tell you where you'd be, you would be halfway between [site decorum] and [site decorum]. I don't actually have any idea what the censored words are but you guys can have fun guessing for yourselves.
I'd also like to note that you guys let me down in regards to naming this feature. While "Anthony Dixon, Philosopher" will likely appear at least once each post, I don't consider it good title material. So I'll leave the suggestions open and I will, for now, go with something uniform and somewhat bland. You guys know that I hate bland, so get on figuring something out for yourselves for once!
STARTING OFF SLOW
Boobie be the name,don't ask me how I got it,I'm killing these Defenses,I'm trying to stop the violence! - Anthony Dixon, So how did you get the name?
Am I the only one who thinks adrian gonzalez kinda looks like ernie from the show george lopez? - Colin Kaepernick, I don't know why the fact that he watches that show makes me worry, but it does.
@TakeoSpikes51 All I know is that TKO better be coming back to San Fran when it's said and done! - CJ Spillman, SPEAKING TRUTH!
PLEASE HAMMER, DON'T HURT 'EM
@Boobie24Dixon you are an aggressive tweeter - Joe Staley, Oh snap. It's on.
@jstaley74 Yeah I need sum football bad,I'm Ready to bang! I'm talking hands! You already know! #Team Let's Do it Leg Go #Team49ers - Anthony Dixon, Possibly ... talking trash?
@Boobie24Dixon it's 10 am where are your 86 tweets about nothing in particular? - Joe Staley, Telling it how it is.
@jstaley74 Woosah! I know dat u miss me,I miss u too :) I see u waiting for me to swag,so u can swagger jack! It's Free tho,I feed my people - Anthony Dixon, Whose swagger is in danger of being jacked.
@Freakyjean95 Career bro,My resume say toughness Homeboy,I'mma bring that hat for you too,We gone be better for it,Oh let's do it! - Anthony Dixon
@jstaley74 @Freakyjean95 Thanks,I'm gonna study my playbill extra mins for y'all today! Thanks for the motivation guys! - Anthony Dixon, Letting haters hate.
@Boobie24Dixon I'm gonna send u a Rosetta stone. English version - Joe Staley, Offering to teach Dixon how to speak English.
@jstaley74 What is that! - Anthony Dixon, Who politely declines.
@Boobie24Dixon exactly lol - Joe Staley, Rubbing it in.
@jstaley74 u not saying nothing,u can't tell me what it is? - Anthony Dixon, Having it up to here (visual aids absent in articles fail) with this turkey.
@Boobie24Dixon it's to help humans speak english - Joe Staley
@jstaley74 we got the same Job! They didn't talk about it at the combine,nor in rookie meetings,or Our meetings,u gone tell me what it is? - Anthony Dixon, Swinging and missing entirely.
@jstaley74 ok I see,u don't understand my Lingo,We from different places,maybe when we get back together I'll teach u sum,and u bring that! - Anthony Dixon, Catching his drift, finally.
@Boobie24Dixon I'm just playin. I'll teach u stuff from the burbs and u can educate me on Mississippi slang - Joe Staley, I want to hear that.
@jstaley74 Ok Hugs! I teasing too bro! U already know,#Team Let's Do it Leg Go #Team 49ers - Anthony Dixon, Doing ... well, his thing.
@Freakyjean95 I'm shaking,Oh God SumOne save me from Ricky! Sike! Im 20 for 20 right now,battle tested,missed one game in my whole NCAA - Anthony Dixon
@Freakyjean95 I do use my own,sumtimes I quote other rappers I respect! I got flow just admit,or else imma light the D up in training camp - Anthony Dixon, Apparently Ricky Jean Francois got into it with him, too!
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
Today we played basketball and everybody got a chance to play 1 on 1 amongst 8 people! Congrats to me for winning the entire tournament. - Vernon Davis, Good luck with basketball, VD!
2 of the competitors were former NBA players so I think I'm ready. - Vernon Davis, No seriously ... that lockout is ten times more volatile than the one you're already in
Im sooo focused right now!! - Michael Crabtree, Alone
@jstaley74 @CarrieDew19 any luck in setting hope solo up with me - Scott McKillop, Don't hold your breath.
SINGING IN THE RAIN
They say the NFL Life is a High and they wasn't a lie,grinding for that moment,now my dreams I can buy,I can Fly,On a plane that is, - Anthony Dixon
Hit the lights and let this passion be shown,This is poetry,real life rap,if I don't get to ball soon,I jus might snap! Sumbody else rip it! - Anthony Dixon
So why this love feels like Gravel Gravel Gravel Gra Gra Gra Gra Gravel Gravel Gravel,So why this love feels like! - Anthony Dixon
All my ladies Killing em,get ya hands up,if u really killing em,keep ya Hands! - Anthony Dixon, I am thankful I get to keep my hands.
You know what's really grinds my gears? Airplane farters. - Joe Staley, Ain't it the truth.
She a GROUPIE and she hitting me up lol -- let me pause that, I Dnt do groupies BOO BOo in my (EVELYN) Voice - Chris Culliver, Looks like he's not interested in groupies. Sorry Drew K
Just ran over a chipmunk going 60 :/ - Keaton Kristick, :[
Brian Wilson is amazing #mancrush - Scott McKillop
Do you think I could get on wipeout if I wrote in to the show? Off season goal - Colin Kaepernick, He'd be good on there.
I love when you fall asleep, wake up 40 minutes later and it feels like you slept all night. Only to realize there's many hours left.#baller - Adam Snyder, Baller indeed.
How come when at the club ladies get in the tiniest most revealing outfits then get mad when a guy tries to talk to them. What do you expect - Reggie Smith, With the truthness.
#It's Boobie Time - Anthony Dixon
Still up! I wonder what imma dream about or even who! I be having sum crazy dreams,but I can't never really remember,why is that? - Anthony Dixon, Just what we need, Dixon tweeting about even crazier stuff.
I'm about to do something really fun today! Something I have not done in years. Amusement! - Vernon Davis, About to get down on some Tony Montana ish.
UMMM THEY'RE GOOD ... ON MADDEN
@CJSPILLMAN27 Nice try bro! 1Point,Gosh Dang,almost had me! - Anthony Dixon, Who whooped CJ Spillman on Madden
@Boobie24Dixon haha I played u w the raiders and u barely beat me lol! - CJ Spillman, Who doesn't understand that the Raiders are really good on Madden because they have fast players. Maybe Al Davis loves Madden?
@CJSPILLMAN27 You quit the first time! That was a new team for me! I still beat u! - Anthony Dixon
@Boobie24Dixon lost connection that's a big difference pimp! - CJ Spillman
The Real,I can't do fakers,This Is what I do,about my money,F$$k you! Pay Me! This is What I do! Huh? This is what I do! Fa real? This is - Anthony Dixon, Philosopher
Alright folks, so that's that! Don't forget to follow the official @NinersNation Twitter account. We've also got the @sbnbayarea account, and a list of 49ers players for you to check out. Lastly, my personal Twitter account is @ninnyjams