NN NFL Tournament of Badness Elite Eight: Brett Favre and Blackouts


The one-seeded juggernaut "Cowboys Being Referred To As America's Team", at the time of writing this, is giving the prevent defense a one-sided beatdown unlike any its ever seen. That's actually not entirely true, considering the nature of the prevent defense is that it gets beat on quite a bit, so this is quite literally nothing new. Yesterday on Twitter, I made the prediction that "Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial" would win the whole thing and I stand by the prediction. 

Today, we've got another one-seed in action as "Brett Favre's Media Whoring" is taking on the ever-stupid blackouts. Remember folks, this is the elite eight ... the final eight things in the NFL that we've deemed to be among the worst ever. We've got only a handful of matches left, so be sure to get your votes and discussion in. The end is near, we are all gonna diiiiiie! Or uh, something. Watched Little Nicky earlier.

This is a tournament of badness and as such, you need to be voting for the absolute worst of the two in any given matchup. I don't think I need to be saying it at this point, but just so there isn't any confusion ... I know that people have been confused by ballots and instructions before.  Vote for which one you think is more awful than the other, so in the end, we can truly have the worst thing in the NFL. Jump for a description of the two entrants in today's matchup and a look at the rest of the elite eight.    

(1) Brett Favre's Media Whoring

To borrow a line from Fooch, I would sooner set myself on fire than give this man's on-again off-again career my undivided attention. That's not a word-for-word quote or anything, but I did take no small measure of joy from picturing Fooch lighting himself aflame. Then Niners Nation would be mine for the taking, and it would be an all-night alright pajama party, awww yeeeeah!

But yeah. Brett Favre. What a guy, right?

Wrong. He's not a guy. He's not even getting old. He's a publicity machine manufactured by the government to see just how many times he can hook the American football watching population with the same story and his rugged good looks. After twenty years, he sort of lost his sheen, so he had to start taking pictures of his genitals. And now in every Wrangler Jeans commercial he does, every middle-aged woman on the planet is thinking about his Danny Woodhead, for some reason.

But I doubt he has anything left to do to grab our attention. I mean, I guess he can take a page out of Jim Miller's book, but instead of kicking with no shoes on, he could play quarterback with no pants on. I guess people would watch that. I wouldn't, that's for sure. Well. I wouldn't live ... I might DVR it. I could watch it and feel better about myself in comparison.

That image aside ... the man is a whore. A pretty damn good quarterback, but a whore, just as sleazy as Fooch is for his page views, Favre needs attention to survive. It sustains him, much like feasting on the young sustains Al Davis. He plays the media like none other, and the media knows it. The Favre Watch graphic and horn on the NFL Network was hilarious once. Maybe twice. But even now, making fun of his media whoring is becoming a chore, because you should really only make fun of things you don't actually mind. Please retire.

(6) Blackouts

What a brainless proposition this entrant presents. If a team doesn't sell out (or reach a specific number usually somewhere close to selling out), the league will blackout the game in its home market. In essence, if the 49ers did not meet their quota and you lived in the Bay Area, you would not be able to watch the game on television. Even the satellite networks will blackout your games, regardless as to whether or not you have a premium NFL package.

Their reasoning is that if you live in that area and you can't watch the game on TV, it will convince you to head down to Candlestick Park and buy yourself a ticket. 

Not a single person will ever have that line of thought. There isn't going to be one guy that decides he's going to attend a live football game because he can't watch it on television, it simply wouldn't happen. That guy might attend a game at some point, but it will be entirely unrelated to blackouts. They'll either watch an online stream, find a buddy who can watch the game at his place (one block can be blacked out while the other is not) or simply do without. It's that simple.

Blackouts does nothing but hurt the team and the fans. Please recognize how stupid this is, even if it's not a huge worry for us 49er fans. Seeing as how we're totally awesome. Well, most of us. That LondonNiner fellow is a shifty one.

Elite Eight

(1) Cowboys Being America's Team versus (3) Prevent Defense
(1) Brett Favre's Media Whoring versus (6) Blackouts

(12) Tanking The Season To Draft Andrew Luck versus (3) New Kickoff Rule
(1) The Brady Rule versus (2) Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial

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