The 49ers Third Quarterback and Apathy

So, it looks like I am going to be the newest front page writer here at Niners Nation and I want to thank Fooch for the  awesome opportunity. I have been a follower of the site for quite a long time now. I will even dare to comment here and there, though I admit that historically I have been more interested in reading what you guys have to say than word vomiting onto my keyboard (it's kind of messy).

As my username says, my name is Wes. I am a college student studying English and Classical Civilization. I played four years of football in high school and have been a 49ers fan since conception.

Follow me after the break and continue to read about my blessed life. And maybe something about football or something.

Here are a couple of people I just don't care about: Amanda McKittrick Ros and Pietro Campanora. Ros is the best worst writer ever - and while I find it amusing to read her horrid writing - in no way is she a profligate force in my consciousness. Pietro Camponora was also known as Pope John XIV. He was Pope for like the lifespan of a fly or something.

Wait. There was one more. And a point to his too. Oh yeah, Josh McCown.

Let's be reasonable, guys and gals. If we ever have to see the third string quarterback play in a Niners game, it's already a lost season. I won't presume to know your feelings, but watching David Carr try to shot-put a thirty pound football last year took a chainsaw to my warm and fuzzy feelings. The stuff of nightmares. The movie Requiem for a Dream could have ended with David Carr throwing passes and it would have still been the most depressing movie ever.

And, I don't mean if Alex gets hurt in the fourth quarter of some game and McCown gets the nod. Jim Harbaugh might just want to keep Colin Kaepernick safe until the end of the game and start thinking about next week. I'm talking both Kaepernick and Smith can't play. I don't really see a scenario in which Kaepernick is not the second string QB this season. If anything, I think it is more likely that Colin starts rather than having McCown leapfrog his way into a game. I mean, come on, playing leapfrog in pads just does not look feasible. Rather, the demarcations between Smith and Colin are growing more and more clear in practice; I imagine that if Alex goes down, Harbaugh is going to want to see what Kaepernick can do in an actual game for a few weeks. The idea that Colin will be the third-stringer this year is discordant hooey. Take my word for it. I've never been wrong about anything regarding football. (/casts evil eye at Shaun Hill).

But here's the thing about McCown, there's nothing to get excited about with this guy. He really is not that good. But neither is every single third quarterback in the history of ever. He's not going to come into practice, start whippin' the football around and compete for the starting job. He won't. He's going to sign with an NFL team for some money. That's it. If his name get's seriously thrown in the hat for a starting job, then that five-year contract with Harbaugh is going to look pretty darn long.

So, while it's fun to work ourselves up into some rabies induced Bacchanalian orgy of football angst over Dante Culpepper this and McCown that, we really need to realize that this is not about making our team better. There are no real effective ways at making your team better by signing a third quarterback, unless he is a good enough teacher that he can impart some righteous football slingin' wisdom on the youngins. We don't need that, remember? We have Harbaugh.

That's why Trent Baalke hired him. Harbaugh is our experienced QB. What about a young guy with upside, some jerk from the proverbial peanut gallery shouts. Well, why not have a young guy with upside? While that was super fun and productive with Nate Davis, we already have our guy with upside. His name is Colin Kaepernick. I want him to get all of the "upside" snaps in practice. In my opinion, Alex Smith is back to be a shield for Colin until he can step in at a time Harbaugh deems appropriate. There is no reason for Harbaugh to be splitting time between two upside QBs.

No, this move is not about making the team better. It's pretty much the same thing as wearing a helmet while driving a car. If you really need it, you're life is looking pretty bleak anyway. So, I preach apathy. This is a low cost signing to a guy was good in college when I was, like, two years old or something. That's not an argument for bringing him in. The argument is that he can stand up and throw a football. That's all you need in a third-string QB.

Don't get me wrong, I like a good freakout as much as the next guy, and when I had heard that the Niners were thinking about signing Culpepper I think my nose started bleeding out of my ears. And honestly, I think McCown might just be a bit better than Culpepper. I'm also a San Francisco Giants fan, so I am getting tired of washed up veterans. Sometimes watching the Giants play ball is like watching Hugh Hefner, Sean Connery, and Al Davis duke it out in a cage fight. Sure they had their heydays, but man they are old and should probably march off with their Depends and leave all us young people alone. (And for the record, Sean Connery would win that fight on the power of his voice alone).

But that's the thing about freakouts. Sometimes we just have to have a little perspective: Frank Gore is holding out of camp for more money? Hurry drive to the nearest store with glass display windows and throw things through them. Discussing the third QB on the roster? Just be numb to it all. That's somebody else's headache. I'm not saying don't talk about it. Only, remember how important he really is. Hint: he isn't.

Oh yeah, and if you bother to become Pope, you might try to live longer than nine months. You'll be doing history a solid.

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