A Game of Pretend

We are all very hopeful and nervous about the game this weekend versus the Cincinnati Bengals. So far this season the team has given us hints of being both competent about half the time and completely hopeless the other half of the time. So, with the way things have gone so far it would be safe to assume that we have a 50/50 chance to leave Paul Brown Stadium with a loss on Sunday.

So, assuming a worst case scenario, lets explore the ways in which our 49ers might totally blow it and leave the rest of us grasping to find the answers to our woes. 

Reason # 1: Moran Norris makes a miraculous recovery and starts instead of Bruce Miller

This makes me so angry! I can't believe that he thwarted my evil plan to see Bruce Miller have an awesome day and score 4 touchdowns. I'm as angry as Captain Kirk when he yells, "KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!". It wouldn't kill me to find out that the team puts Norris on IR at some point this season.

Reason # 2: Manny Lawson turns into LT and destroys Alex Smith

Even Manny made our O-line look bad. What is the world coming to? 

Reason # 3: Andy Dalton and AJ Green look like Montana and Rice and shred our secondary

This is actually plausible. Our secondary better have figured out what the heck they're doing wrong lately, or they could blow the game again for us. AJ Green caught 10 balls last weekend, a first for a rookie wr who is catching balls from a rookie qb.

Reason # 4: The Bengals run rampant and dominate on the ground

Yea, and pigs flew out of my butt. Niners will dominate the ground on defense. See reason # 3.