Championship Weekend: Where's My Bottle of Scotch?

When I was a kid I had a problem controlling my anger especially when it came to sports. My room was literally filled with plaster marks from holes that needed to be covered. Since my dad was tired of constantly going to Home Depot he one day gave me a foam brick. The idea being I could throw that in anger but nothing would get broken.

In my first game with the foam brick something that was so important I can't even remember what it was anymore got me really angry and I threw my brick. I watched as it flew through the air and doinked harmlessly off the TV. So I went into my room and punched two holes in the wall instead of just one.

At times the 49ers offense reminded me of my old foam brick. Time after time they doinked harmlessly off the Giants defense and went 3-and-out. Yet in spite of that they were still in a position to win, and would have won if not for the fact they lost the turnover battle for the first time since,...well for the first time in a really long time. So long ago, I can't even remember how long ago it was. It was that long ago.

How could the 49ers who had 10 turnovers in 16 games have 2 in this one? How could the 49ers who had led the NFL in turnovers with 38 have zero in this one? What makes it worse is they easily could have had 2 interceptions but both were dropped when two 49er players going for the pick collided with each other. And there was another fumble that wasn't a fumble because of a quick whistle by the refs. Now that I'm thinking about it, I sure don't hear the Giants fans complaining any more after they almost went into cardiac arrest complaining last week about how the refs were trying to hand the game to the Packers after a non-fumble in that game.

More after the jump...

But no, I'm not going to blame the refs for this loss because that would be too cliche. I am, however, going to blame Roger Craig 2.0, Kyle Williams. In fairness to Craig, his fumble in the 1991 NFC Championship game against the Giants hurt a lot but at least he played a huge role in helping the 49ers to 3 Super Bowl victories before then. But Williams? What in the ever-loving name of everything holy and even things that are only somewhat holy were you thinking as you were standing over a punt you weren't going to field?

Now I feel bad for Williams. I really do. I'm sure no one is as upset as he is unless there's some guy who went in to an Applebees to shoot at a Giants fan that I haven't heard about yet. But even though I feel bad for him I'm also incredibly mad at him. Not so mad that I'd send him a death threat like some mentally unstable fans have done, but I am giving serious consideration to toilet papering his house. I may even let the air out of his tires. That will show him.

Unless the 49ers go on to win a Super Bowl or two in the coming years and Williams plays a big part in that, I will always remember him as the guy who almost single handedly cost the 49ers a return trip to the Super Bowl. But I'll still try to look on the bright side. At least I'm not a Bills fan. Wide right? Now that really had to hurt.

Ravens 20, Patriots 23

This game started with Steven Tyler singing a version of the National Anthem that was so bad he would have kicked himself off American Idol, and it ended with a kick that was so bad even Mike Vanderjagt was wondering how Billy Cundiff could miss that.

Both Joe Flacco and Tom Brady completed 22 of their 36 passes but Flacco threw for 306 yards and 2 touchdowns while Brady only threw for 239 yards and had 2 interceptions. Poor Flacco. As if it wasn't bad enough to be called out by his own team, he actually outplayed Brady but still lost.

"Well, I sucked pretty bad today, but our defense saved us," Brady said after the game. I can't believe Brady was the one who said that and not Flacco. Now I know for sure the world has been turned upside down. Brady is talking like Flacco, Flacco is playing like Brady, chip shot field goals are being missed, and the Patriots leading rusher Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis is tired of receiving phone calls from people looking for a personal injury lawyer.

It's a tough pill to swallow for the Ravens who weren't given much of a chance in this game by most and were just a knocked out touchdown pass away from winning. "You know, we've got 53 guys, mighty men, as we like to call them -- and they fought, and we came up a little bit short, as 53," coach Harbaugh said. "You know, 53 win and 53 lose." Wait, which Harbaugh said this?

Now we get the rematch everyone in the sports world wanted, or at least everyone in the sports world that lives on the East coast, which for them amounts to the same thing. The Giants and Patriots will play a rematch of the 2007 Super Bowl and I'll be left hoping Tim Tebow is right and the world will come to an end soon so I don't have to watch one of these two teams hoist the Lombardi Trophy. I just need to keep reminding myself it could be worse. At least I'm not a Bills fan. At least I'm not a Bills fan. At least I'm not a Bills fan.

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