Official Community Thread [2/9/2012] I hate pet peeves

Going to check that out right now….

no but seriously.. nail on the head….

I hate people who mispell.

So there’s this group of three scientists, and they want to see what would happen if you stopped up an elephant’s butt for a while, and then released the stopper. Yes, they wanted to do this. It’s science. So they get everything set up. They even train a monkey to pull out the stopper on command. With the experiment ready and the elephant properly stopped for the designated time, they took their positions. One scientist stood 25 yards away. Another stood 50 yards away, and the last stood 75 yards away. Finally, they had the monkey pull the stopper and – BOOM! It’s a poo explosion. The farthest scientist is disgusted, up to his ankles in sloppy elephant poop. The next scientist can barely control his gagging, up to his knees. The last is up to his waist and laughing hysterically. The first two can’t believe it. "What’s so funny?" they ask. "You’re up to your waist in poop."

The last scientist stops laughing long enough to say, "You should have seen the look on the monkey’s face!"

not a fan of the directing and characters. Felt that the movie’s intensity masked some problems with the story and made it seem like it was better than it was.

Have to disagree with you here. The movie had warmth and soul and made us root for the little guy without being too sappy.

Internet is a proper noun, yo.

I don’t think I have ever heard someone call out a whole month

then they make you mad because you’re bad. Its OK lad, just study a tad. Then you’ll be a grad, and be so glad. Don’t think its too rad, cause there’s no jobs to be had. And you’ll end up just sitting around at your pad.

and understand, especially people who insist on talking to you with food in their mouth, though it may be better than this visual I will never forget:

Years ago I was “slinging hash” at Denny’s in Waikiki. A guy comes in and orders a bowl of Ramen and proceeds to eat it by sucking up the noodles from the bowl to his mouth, which is bad enough but entirely forgettable. I came by and asked if everything was alright. Unfortunately, he had a big wad of food in his mouth which he regurgitated out into his hand, said everything’s fine thanks, then shoved that glutinous mess back into his mouth and continued his meal. Scarred me for life, lol.

What I hate is people who speed up really fast to pass you, pull right in front of you and hit the brakes! Or better yet, those who you try to pass because they are doing 20 under the limit flip you off, try to race you and then tailgate you for five miles because they gwot twere pwor wittle fewlings hwurt…

I sleep anywhere. Hell I sleep outside my classes before it starts.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cabbie: “Not stopping.”

Fooch: “OBJECTION!”

Cabbie: “Overruled.”

Fooch: /flips bird.

(This is how I am going to imagine your lawyering from now on, too.)

I went to a minor league baseball game at the lower seats behind first base. T’was a beautiful day. It was then ruined by a group of small children and two parents that let them play like animals. They had played baseball themselves earlier. The most annoying was a blonde boy that had plans to grow up into a d-bag. Jumping and screaming, standing on his seat, hitting the other children. He was bragging about how he was better than everybody else at baseball. How he was best, his other friend was second, and a fatter one was third. Then he sneered at the smallest boy. Shy and quiet, my favorite of the gang. “You suck though, you couldn’t even get on base”. The shy boy hung his head in shame. Being a shy kid in my youth, I felt anger well up inside of me. I hated this little jerk. I wished something horrible upon him.
Divine intervention, the power of my mind, karma… a miracle occured. As the players warmed their arms in between innings, the third baseman saved the day. He rifled a throw that got away from him… and the first baseman.
It was like slow motion to me as I saw the ball come straight for Blondie. Could I have pushed him out of the way? Swat the ball down? Perhaps. But my hands rested on my lap. The ball struck the kid down like a bolt from Zeus himself. The cries filled the air like a sweet melody. The first baseman rushed to his aid. Apologized. And tried to calm the boy by promising that he could keep the baseball. The mother told him that it was his birthday. It was hardly serious. The other kids laughed at Blondie, including Shy Guy.
My brother-in-law noticed the ear to ear grin on my face and accused me of being a monster. When I need a laugh, I think back.