FanPost

Beating the team of Destiny with God on its side

Will Baltimore bring a revival church choir to sing behind Reverend Lewis while he gives his usual televised pregame pep speech to his team mates? "Lord Jeesas, can I get a whhitness?!'

The biggest story line behind Superbowl 47 has nothing to do with the coaches, as Jim Harbaugh already has brought out, its the players on the field. I would add one more dimension to it.

Although Jim doesn't know this or at least hasn't publicly acknowledged it, the real force he is up against is God Almighty. Yes, God took a personal interest in the Baltimore Ravens soon after Ray Lewis announced his retirement. What else could possibly explain the Raven's suddenly winning not one, but two big road wins?

Now, I really dont like when fans dissect their opponents wins and downplay their good plays and focus more on how the other teams lost. Its just a shallow attempt to show how their own team played far better teams and that the opponent shouldn't even be playing and unless they are granted luck from above, they wont win again. But I am going to do just that because the 9ers are so freakin better than the Ravens.

The Colts game. The Colts were the original "The Team of Destiny" due to the fact that their coach went down early with cancer. Im glad he beat it and things seem to be going good for him now. Unfortunately, the guy who was coaching the team the entire year up to then got sick and missed the game. They lost bla bla bla. Was this chance or did God see fit to smite the Colts? Maybe it was just karma for tanking last season to get a good qb.

The Bronco game. Here is where God really played well for Baltimore. I didnt watch this game so I cant say for sure, but I heard that Gods hand came down and literally touched John Fox, transfiguring him into Marty Schottenheimer. Just this aspect alone would have won the game; John Marty clinching his butthole into a knot and calling a more conservative game plan than Rush Limbaugh's politics. But no, it wasnt done yet.. he send a myriad of angels to hold back Rahim Moore, letting a lone receiver get behind him and then causing him to jump at such an awkward time.. so that the only play that could possibly work.. a 70 yard bomb.. would win the game. Nevermind the fact that Peyton Manning had previously sold his soul to the devil for his only SB win anyway.. and has a neck made out of titanium and rubber bands.. and it was 8*.

The Patriot game. I watched this one and kept wondering which team I would rather face. A Patriot team with no secondary but one we went up against earlier, and having an angry motivated Belichick this time or God's own Ravens. Well it turned out that God pulled a Freaky Friday routine and swapped Belichick's and Brady's souls and minds for Matt Cassel and Romeo Crannel. That was some awesome game and clock management. It also helped that Gronk was out and Welker again had passes bouncing off his hands at critical times.

All these games to me show a team thats good enough to beat us only if the unreal happens. The only real chance they have is if God doesn't rescind the curse he's put on Aldon Smith and we dont get any effective pass rush. Im thinking tho that He's getting tired of the cliched dance/speech and over the top eye black. I know I am!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.

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