It's time to think outside the box folks. Our attempts to obtain a functional wide receiver that stays healthy and gets open have utterly failed over the years. As a result, our passing game is dead last in the league, so it's time for extreme measures, and I propose the following solutions:
1) Sign an Australian Rules Football player - Why the bloody eff' not? We've tapped the collegiate ranks and free agent market as far as we can. It's time to look overseas for lads with the bollocks to catch anything resembling an american futbol
2) Sign a Lingerie Football League player - These days if you want something done, you have to get a woman to do it. Meet Anna Heasman (not Heisman), the leading receiver of the Lingerie Football League. She's got 9 touchdowns on the year, and at 5'10 could easily replace Kyle Williams in the slot receiver role. She's pretty fast too ...on the field that is.
3) Bring Jerry back! - I don't care if he's happy dancing with the stars or knocking birdies on the greens. Fixing our dead-last passing game is way more important. Yeah I know he's 51 years old, but if the Rolling Stones can still rock a show in their geriatric state, then the GOAT can still take it to the house.