I'm worried. I don't like this at all. Kaps a very fashionable guy. He's seen at movie premiers, red carpets, modeling NFL caps, in full glory in magazine shoots, on survelliance videos at nightclubs, and while out on the town with gangsta rappa homies like 'The Game' etc. He's in the news on a regular basis. People know him in post offices. He's got an image to keep up. Like how M&M has an image. Or .50 cents. That's why I believe he's being irresponsible. He should plan for life after football when the only thing he'll have left is his face. He's got to protect it which is why I'm glad he slides from phantom rushers. However this is too much. I've just received some startling news which I'm sure will horrify everyone. It turns out Kap and Russel Wilson have a bet on this weeks game, and the loser will have to shave an eyebrow off.
DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS??
An expert doctor comments: "It has been shown following shaved eyebrows in the E.R....... that many eyebrows.... failed to regrow."
We have to take this seriously. This is potentially 'after football' CAREER THREATENING! I mean, MY GOD, just look at the potential ramifications:
"Eyebrows won't grow back... WHY??
"Eyebrow hairs won't grow back! HELP!!!
"My eyebrow isn't growing back!!!!!!!!"
Do you see what I mean? 'Popeye' Kapernick wouldn't work. It doesn't have the same ring as 'Kapstick'. Plus if he shaved the other one off to balance things he'd look like an alien. I suppose he could put a bandaid over it like Nelly but there's not that many TV ads for teeth bling grills. I want Kap to have a great financial future but I can see his career opportunities drying up unless they do a remake of the coneheads from SNL. This is critical situation! We've got to do something to stop this! Are you with me? Niners MUST WIN or Kaeps modeling days could be over!!
http://msn.foxsports.com/lacesout/mail-it-in-friday-youre-gonna-tell-me-that-rexy-isnt-sexy/ (about 3/4 down)
*edit* I feel better now. There might be help: