30 reasons Jed York could be going to Miami

Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

It's the offseason, so 49ers fans have to overreact as much as possible. After a report surfaced that some members of the 49ers brass were traveling to Miami, people began with their wild speculations. We have done our due diligence and came up with some of our own.

Thursday afternoon a report came out that some members of the 49ers were traveling to Miami. Eventually, Jed York tweeted out a picture of himself with his family going to Miami, but prior to that there was some confusion as to who exactly was traveling to South Florida.

People across Twitter were speculating as to what it meant. Did it mean the 49ers were talking to the Dolphins about trading Jim Harbaugh? Maybe making an effort to speak with Colin Kaepernick about contract negotiations? Or potentially talking to the Dolphins about Jonathan Martin?

As would be expected, there were plenty of rumors flying. We have done our own bit of research, and we have come up with some of the most realistic reasons Jed York could be traveling to Miami.

1. It's the big break for former NN writer (Florida) Danny Tuccitto! Jed is preparing to make him an offer he can't refuse to run the analytics department.

2. Jed York is buying up all the Miami Dolphins hats.

3. At Miami Beach, Jed York can sport his red and gold 49ers speedo.

4. Jed York is dying to rent a speed boat and pretend he's on Miami Vice.

5. After Colin Kaepernick made it on the 10 Best-Dressed Men by GQ Magazine, Jed York wanted to bump up his inner fashionista and plans to do a lot of shopping.

6. Jed York was craving Cuban food.

7. Jed York wanted to take his son, Jaxon, to his first nightclub with scantily clad women.

8. Jed York is exploring the South Beach Diet as the 49ers official team diet.

9. Jed York and his family are flying to Miami to board the Carnival Fun Ship. He is hoping for one that doesn't catch on fire.

10. He is low on Cuban victory cigars. #QuestForSix

11. CSI:Miami has asked Jed York to make a guest appearance.

12. Jed desperately wants to join Miami Sound Machine and Gloria Estefan promised him a tryout.

13. Jed is taking Jaxon to the two sites of 49ers Super Bowl victories (Super Bowl XXIX vs. Chargers, Super Bowl XXIII vs. Bengals). He'll give Jaxon another year before the New Orleans experience.

14. (A) He is checking out Marlins Park and thinking of using whatever this thing is to replace the Candlestick Foghorn when the team scores a touchdown:

14. (B) Jed plans to take Jaxon to bet on the ponies at Hialeah Park.

15. D. Wade wanted to give Jed York some fashion tips.

16. Jed is going to have dinner with LeBron James to lower Donte Whitner's asking price and also put in a good word for the Golden State Warriors.

17. Jed York's wife really wants to see where Enrique Iglesias lives.

18. Jed is taking tennis lessons from Anna Kournikova.

19. Shakira invited his family over for dinner and said, when Jed talked about Harbaugh going to the Browns, his hips don't lie.

20. Jed has always dreamed of an airboat ride on the Everglades.

21. Jed York is seriously investigating if Miami is the smuggling point of drugs for the Seattle Seahawks.

22. He has an unusual interest in alligators.

23. Jed York has a meeting at the Babylon Club with Frank Lopez.

24. Jed York heard Will Smith said he could party in the city where the heat is on. All night on the beach til the break of dawn. Jed likes the girls in the car (one of them is Eva Mendes). They're all "Bienvenido a Miami."

25. It is where much of There's Something About Mary was filmed and Jed York loves that movie.

26. Jed York was going to find the Florida State girl and fix her sign.

27. There is a bright boy alert, I repeat, there is a bright boy alert

28. Jed's wife is going to make an appearance on Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami.

29. Jed York really likes one billion percent humidity.

30. Jed flew to Miami to see how fast Grant Cohn would write multiple dumb articles about it.

Now it's your turn! Give us your reasons Jed York is headed to Miami that have nothing to do with the 2014 San Francisco 49ers.

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