FanPost

How not to get your A** kicked by the police! (An open letter to athletes in the off-season (or any time for that matter))

Dear Athletes -

Let me preface this by stating that most of us fans out in the general public understand that you're not a role model, it's not right for any of us to view you as a role model, and it's our responsibility to teach our children that you are not role models. Further, most of us understand that you're young, instantly rich, and likely come from some sort of checkered past (unfortunately, a common thing amongst successful athletes, don't ask me why). This letter is NOT to address your role in society, the impression you make on children, or the impact your conduct may / may not have on the community at large.

What this letter IS intended to be, however, is a message from me - a fan:

PLEASE STOP DOING STUPID SH** AND MESSING UP MY FAVORITE TEAM!!!!!!

There. I said it. And I think I speak for thousands of us - if not millions - when I IMPLORE you to THINK before you go and do stupid things. "What KINDS of stupid things?" you ask? Here's a short, top-of-mind list:

  • Rape/Sexual assault
  • Stabbing
  • Shooting
  • Possession/selling/use of illegal things or unlicensed weaponry
  • Drunken kung-fu kicking of some idiot at a random party
  • Hitting/biting/assaulting strippers
  • Bogarting strippers and causing fights
  • Indecent exposure
  • Urinating on women with whom you recently had sexual relations
  • Urinating anywhere other than a toilet located in a proper location
  • Saying stupid, ignorant, or racist things to the media, or in the proximity of a camera or other recording device (NOTE: YOU ARE ALWAYS IN THE PROXIMITY OF A CAMERA OR RECORDING DEVICE)
  • Drunk/stoned driving
  • Being drunk or stoned without a completely sober and trustworthy wing man to cover your idiot A**
  • Anything illegal or that might draw undue attention to you
  • Hanging out with people/idiots who do any of these aforementioned things.

Your conduct and behavior directly impacts my favorite team and THAT is something I have every right to become upset about. It's not about whether I should model my kid after you, I get that. But when you miss games because of a suspension for knuckle-headed behavior, you reduce the chances our team wins or - at a minimum - make it harder for us to win simply because of a lack of focus.

In closing, please take a few minutes to view this educational video that provides some great insights into how to conduct yourselves should you have occasion to come into contact with our men and women of law enforcement. The career (or the SEASON) you save, may be your own:

How not to get your A** KICKED by the police

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.

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