FanPost

Niners Nation Fantasy Football: El Pato's House of Chaos Draft Recap



DRAFT IS CHAOS!

So the House of Chaos opened its doors for drafting. And people chose, and people chose, and TryAndCatchVDD got his butt kissed by Yahoo for having an A-grade draft, and people chose,

And then El Shorts showed up to turn his auto pick off.

And people chose and people chose.

Our draft is done. The schedule is set. Our potential enemies have been made, and TryAndCatchVD still thinks he loves sacks...whatever. Here are your draft awards from El Pato's House of Chaos:

Biggest Homer: Beamer1960.

It's a pill all successful fantasy players have had to swallow, you A: have to sometimes pass on home team players for far superior players in other positions and B: you have to sometimes take your rivals because they have excellent players.

Well Beamer1960 never really figured this part out yet, taking Colin Kaepernick in the 2nd round-ahead of Drew Brees, Aaron Rogers and eh, Peyton Manning? Look, we all have homerism in us but we can't help but laugh at that call. At the highest in mock drafts, Kap is usually going in the 5th round at the earliest-and on average he's gone in the 7th.

It didn't stop there. Beamer launched his 3rd round pick right into the SF receiver corps, taking Michael Crabtree ahead of the likes of Keenan Allen and Randall Cobb.

In the 5th round Beamer actually made a decent pick: He took Vernon Davis (expected to be gone around then, maybe a round later). This was the first and only SF player he didn't reach for. To round out the roster, Beamer snagged the 49ers D (8th round) and Phil Dawson (10th round).

Beamer really could be the ultimate homer if it wasn't for his 13th round pick: Carson Palmer. He may win the Biggest Homer award, but that one pick took him out of the Ultimate Homer competition. Well done with your drafting, Beamer. Beamer's Niners is an adequate name for this team, it also got a D draft grade from Yahoo.

Biggest Traitor: Jcloiselle

Sure, El Pato's Birds and Bees was the first stab in the abdomen taking Marshawn Lynch with the 10th pick (where he was projected) but nothing could be more traitorous than Jcloiselle taking not just Percy Harvin in the 6th round, but Russell Wilson in the 12th. Each of these moves has no place in this league.

Really? You're going to do that?

The traitorous nature doesn't stop there, Jcloiselle took another defense-the cardinal D, later in the draft to round out his defensive collection. Why he did this from a fan standpoint and a fantasy standpoint is anyone's guess.

Now to answer the question: How many SF players does he have? None.

Fooch, if you're reading-ban him from the site. This cannot be tolerated. Especially when Yahoo gives him a B grade.

Best Draft According to Yahoo: TryAndCatchVD

Between El Shorts' auto picks, and Beamer1960 taking homer pick after homer pick, TryAndCatchVD wound up getting steal after steal. With the first pick of the draft he took Adrian Peterson-predictable. But he snagged Peyton Manning at the end of the 2nd round (way to go, Beamer1960 and El Pato). Rounding out the roster is Alshon Jeffery, RGIII for a backup QB, Toby Gerhart, and, uh, Trent Richardson.

It looks underwhelming but with that one-two punch of Manning and Peterson, TryAndCatchVD very well could have an easy time this year. Yahoo graded him with an A (*cough* bullcrap *cough*) and claims he will dominate this league. All TryAndCatchVD wants us to know is who likes sacks.

Hopefully that's all this team produces, he has the Panther D also.

Wing It Guy Award: El Shorts

There's one of these in every draft. It's either The Stat Geek, The Jerk, The Drunk, or Wing-It Guy. El Shorts mutated into Wing-It Guy.

Who is Wing It Guy? Allow me:

Wing It Guy

This Defines El Shorts

Ok, now that we have that established, Shorts takes the win here. First he doesn't even show up, even after El Pato pestered him on Twitter, until about round three or four. By that time Shorts' autopick has gifted him Calvin Johnson, Brandon Marshall and Doug Martin. Not too shabby for auto pick. Once Shorts actually was in control, though, everything went down to hell. At the end though, with auto picks and Shorts being Shorts, he got slapped with a C+ grade.

Great Grade that Still Means He Will Suck: El Pato's Birds and Bees.

Yahoo granted the Birds and Bees a B grade for the draft...but projects the team to go 7 and 8. Sounds about right, knowing Yahoo. This is the same draft ranking that gave TryAndCatchVD an A grade, so crapping on the commish must be standard.

The Birds and Bees will regain dominance. They will own. They will destroy and CATCH VD.

The football player...not the...nevermind.

We'll be back next week with TryAndCatchVD's epic loss and how the comissioner is winning The House of Chaos!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.