FanPost

Monkey edition: Predictions for 2015 season.

Greetings fellow simians! AK was crazy enough to leave the computer logged in while he was out with his "kids", so we decided to write something that has been on our minds for a few weeks.

What do we think is going to happen in the 2015 season?

So, to demonstrate our superiority over you feeble humans, us monkeys will post our predictions. We also challenge you humans to post your own predictions so at the end of the season you will be able to accept your place in the world.

Prediction #1

Both the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots will miss the playoffs.

Now, before you start to throw rotten fruit, hear us out. Typically, teams after a Superbowl will experience a "hangover". Though both of these teams have shown an ability to ignore their hangover, it will be different this year. The Patriots have lost a lot of talent, and have this silly deflate-gate (what a silly thing you humans do, making everything into a gate) thing going on. With the Dolphins and the Bills on their heels, the Pats will lose enough games to just miss the playoffs.

Now, what about the Seahawks? Knowing how much grief AK will get for this prediction, we giggle with glee. Besides the lulz, we have some legit reasons. First and foremost, they have done nothing with their offensive line. If either Marshawn Lynch or Russell Wilson gets hurt, their offense will sputter and die. A lacking O line will cause one of them to get injured. Second, their luck will have a regression to the mean. Though we acknowledge that the Seahawks have made their own luck for the most part, many ball bounces that went for them last season will not go with them this season. They will still be a formidable team, but with the tough NFC West they will lose just enough games to lose a tie-breaker.

Prediction #2

The Eagles will win the NFC East, and then will promptly lose the first game of the playoffs.

The Eagles will get off to a hot start, and then will cool off as the season progresses. This will be the time teams figure out a solution to defeating Chip Kelly's fast-tempo offense. In fact, though the Eagles win the division, by the post-season the Dallas Cowboys will be the better team.

Prediction #3

The San Francisco 49ers and the Oakland Raiders make the post-season.

Both of these teams have already been written off by the major media pundits. There is an actual article on Baltimore Beatdown saying that the 49ers will be 3-13! Both of these teams are in tough divisions. Both have young unproven talent on both sides of the ball. Though most likely neither teams makes it to the big banana, they will make some noise.

Prediction #4

Roger Goodell will make two major gaffes.

No logic behind this other than previous history.

Prediction #5

Injuries will continue to plague the league, and will change the course of four playoff bound teams.

We don't know which four. However, at least one of those four will be because they did not have major injuries and their opponent does. Hopefully we are wrong about injuries; we hate to see injuries to you simians. Especially since it would affect our world conquest plans.

What predictions do you have? Leave them in the comments. Assuming that AK leaves his computer unlocked sometime during the post season, we'll do a best and worst of.

The Monkeys, your future overlords

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.