Welcome to 'Any Given Friday', where we love it when the NFL is on four days a week (even if our wife doesn't), where we can't remember so many big games between potential playoff teams in one week before (including head-to-head games for the #1 seed in each conference), and where we'd never call ourselves the worst blogger in America (at least, not as long as howtheyscored is still posting).

The league has several great choices for coach of the year -- it does every year. But what makes this year remarkable is that three of the very best candidates are rookie coaches -- Tony Sparano, John Harbaugh, and Mike Smith. These aren’t just coaches in their first year with new teams, but first time head coaches -- guys with no prior experience. All three have their teams at 9-5 and in the thick of the playoff hunt.

I've mentioned this before here, but the only season I can recall with three rookie coaches this successful was 1992, when Dennis Green took over the Vikings, Bill Cowher became the head man in Pittsburgh (both went 11-5), and Mike Holmgren grabbed the reins in Green Bay (9-7). Two of them went on to win Super Bowls (and lose Super Bowls) with those teams, and the other went to two conference championship games.

The only other virgin head coach this year (non-interim division), Jim Zorn, has Washington at a respectable 7-7 (though they did go 9-7 a year ago). He could've easily been in the discussion of the best rookie coach as well, if he hadn’t a) allowed the ‘Skins to fade badly down the stretch, b) needlessly benched and publicly criticized his best offensive player, and c) called himself “the worst coach in America”. This has only intensified rumors that Zorn might be one-and-done in D.C., a la Schottenheimer in 2001, and Daniel Snyder could be preparing to make Cowher an offer he can’t refuse. So, while Coach Zorn does his daily affirmation, Stuart Smalley-style, let’s narrow the discussion to The Big Three.

They come from different backgrounds -- offense, defense, and special teams. One (Smith) was a coordinator for five years at the pro level before being hired. The other two had never been coordinators at the pro level, Harbaugh never had at any level. The one common thread: They all changed their starting QB in the first year, either through trade or draft. So keep in mind, the GM’s for these teams should be getting a lot of credit as well. The question is, which of them has done the best job thus far. Before you answer, let’s take a closer look at the candidates:

Tony Sparano has completely turned around the 1-15 Dolphins, with a big (fat) helping hand from Bill Parcells. He’s relied on the running game (led by everybody’s favorite, the Wildcat formation) and a good defense (led by sackmaster Joey Porter). The acquisition of Pennington and health of Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams gave him a good start, and he’s run with it. Sparano has led the biggest turnaround in terms of wins, but of course a lot of credit needs to go to Parcells. Bonus points for having a name resembling one famous TV character, and a face (and body) resembling another.

John Harbaugh has led his turnaround of 5-11 Baltimore with some help from rookie QB Joe Flacco, improved line play, and the Baltimore staple -- defense. They always had the defensive stars -- Ed Reed, Ray Lewis, Haloti Ngata -- but injuries and a hopeless offense took the sting out of their bite. Harbaugh has used Flacco’s ability to avoid big mistakes and a reliance on the running game to re-energize the D, and they’re playing as well as they have in years. But a lot of credit for that must go to defensive coordinator Rex Ryan. Bonus points for landing an NFL head coaching gig before Captain Comeback.

Mike Smith has done the seemingly impossible in Atlanta. Not just turning around the 4-12 Falcons, but making everybody forget about Michael Vick. A big assist goes to first-year GM Thomas Dmitrov for top pick Matt Ryan and free-agent acquisition Michael Turner. There was already talent there -- Roddy White, John Abraham, Jerious Norwood -- but those two changes more than anything appear to be responsible for the turnaround. Even so, the job Smith has done can’t be minimized -- given a choice of a franchise to take over this past off-season, I don’t think there were many who would’ve chosen Atlanta over Miami or Baltimore. Big, big bonus points for getting all up in Antonio Bryant’s grill. For that alone, he's got my vote. 

We'll take a look at all the weekend's games after the jump...

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Welcome to ‘Any Given Friday’, where we’re still awed by Carolina’s running attack on Monday night, where we "called in gay" even though we're straight as an arrow, and where our new motto is "It is what it is, bro".

Since WR's are the divas of the NFL, most of the drama revolves around them. But besides one bit of news (which Fooch pointed out), most of the controversy this week surrounded RB's. Here's a rundown:

Clinton Portis: It was a quick trip for Portis from team MVP to benchwarmer. When he spent most of the 2nd half of the 'Skins/Ravens game wearing arctic gear on the sideline, I was sure it was his myriad injuries keeping him on the bench. But Coach Jim Zorn claimed he was prepared due to missing practice time. This seemed like odd reasoning to me -- and clearly to Portis, as well. He may be free spirit, known for his many personas -- besides Choo Choo (pictured above), there's Coach Janky Spanky, Dolemite Jenkins, Southeast Jerome, and Dollah Bill -- but he's always been thought of as a team guy, and someone you could count on. And considering the way Portis has carried the ‘Skins offensively this season, I have to conclude this was handled poorly by Zorn.

Marion Barber: Dallas is in the playoffs as of this moment, but this week's game is a near must-win for them to make the playoffs. So how does Jerry Jones try to motivate his team? He calls out Marion Barber in the press, saying he could’ve played against the Steelers, and questioning his toughness. I guess when you’re 18-32 in December and January over the past 12 years, you have to try whatever you can think of to keep your team from collapsing down the stretch. But that’s not too inspiring of a statement, especially when you have to quickly back-pedal away from it a couple of days later. Along with the escalating T.O. drama and whispers over Tony Romo's big game issues, could America's Team be in the headed for another December Dallas Disintegration?

"Smash and Dash": Carolina RB's DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart were so impressive against Tampa monday night -- with the MNF crew throwing around the nickname “Smash & Dash” -- it even caused some backlash. Titans RB LenDale White was pissed about having a nickname he claims to have coined -- and "trademarked and copy written" (I think he meant "copyrighted") for himself and Chris Johnson. He even has the t-shirts to prove it. This dispute raises two key issues: 1) When is a nickname officially taken? Maybe never -- considering that one of the greatest defensive players of all time, Lawrence Taylor, had his stolen while he was in the Hall of Fame. 2) Which of these two tandems, the Titans and Panthers, is the best in the NFL? Statistically, they've been remarkably similar so far this season:

YARDS PER GAME (NFL RANK): Tennessee 146.1 (3rd), Carolina 146.0 (4th)

YARDS PER CARRY: Tennessee 4.4 (7th), Carolina 4.8 (2nd)

TD’S: Tennessee 22 (2nd), Carolina 23 (1st)

Enough with the drama, let's get to the games...

San Francisco (5-8) at Miami (8-5)

Despite “Total ball security” has been one of Coach Singletary’s much talked about Formula for Success, the Niners were sorely lacking last week -- 5 fumbles, one INT. If Samurai Mike really wants to impress on his team that he’s serious about ball security, I think he should make them all switch from boxers to briefs. (I’ll wait a minute while you stop groaning at that one.) Still here? I admire your dedication.

After picking the Niners to beat the Cowboys only to see them lose, I’ve picked against them two straight weeks with much better results. So, I’m staying the course until further notice.

The pick: DOLPHINS

Seattle (2-11) at St. Louis (2-11)

When I was in college my buddies and I would sit around our apartment smoking, uh... cigarettes, and ask each other crazy philosophical questions -- sort of like a amateur pyschological experiment. One that stuck with me all these years was this: “If you had to choose one, which would you rather -- having no penis, or looking like Eric Stoltz in "Mask"?"

Ridiculously tough call. No good option there. We debated it for hours. Well, that choice reminds me of this game. I don’t know if the Rams are the no penis and the Seahawks are the kid from ‘Mask’, or vice versa, but it’s the same basic principal -- no good option. Only I’m not going to debate it for an hour.

The pick: SEAHAWKS

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Welcome to After Further Review..., where we can’t stop laughing when we think about Plaxico Burress, where we still can’t decide if we’re more annoyed or attracted to The "Fills You Up" Girl from the Bud Light commercials, and where we’re ready to bring you the odds, ends, and trends from this weekend's action in the NFL.

But, first things first, let’s get to the news that just can’t wait:

SAFETYWATCH ‘08 UPDATE: Yes, folks, the safety infestation continued to run wild throughout the NFL again this week as yet another safety was recorded -- for the fifth week in a row by my count. The most recent outbreak occured in the Falcons/Chargers game when Phillip Rivers was called for Intentional Grounding in the end zone in the 2nd quarter. Stay tuned -- more updates to follow.

Okay, with that out of the way, now we can go back about our business...

SELF-INFLICTED: I don’t even know what to say about this latest Burress thing. Before this year, he never seemed all that crazy to me -- at least not for a WR. Now, he looks like he’s trying to set a record for crazy. Honestly, I think Burress just realized that all the WR’s who get the biggest publicity are the crazy ones, and wanted to get him some of that.

Seriously, I think sometime this off-season he said to himself: "I just caught the Super Bowl-winning TD, I’m a great receiver, but I just don't get any respect." He got himself a contract extension, but that failed to fill the void that resides in every diva WR. So he got himself suspended -- still nothing. 

Then it hit him: "Steve Smith punched out his teammate, Chad changed his name to Ocho Cinco. T.O. tried to kill himself with pills. I need to step up my game... I’ve got it -- I could shoot myself in the leg! Nobody’s ever done that! Then I’ll be the craziest WR ever!"

Burress was already out with a knee injury, and the injury report reads "P. BURRESS -- OUT (KNEE)", but I wish instead of the body part, they list the injury -- like "ACL TEAR". Because when his knee heals but he still can’t play due to being shot, the listing of "P. BURRESS -- OUT (THIGH)" just doesn’t tell the story like "P. BURRESS -- OUT (GUNSHOT WOUND)" would. 

Then again, that point might be moot. NBC’s Peter King called it the "A 23 million dollar gunshot wound", referring to the non-guaranteed portion of Burress’s contract, and intimating the Giants might drop him as soon as the first chunk of that (for $1 million) is due on December 10th. That decision could be complicated by the fact Burress is reportedly facing gun charges. So it appears we may find out very soon just how much New York is willing to forgive in exchange for Burress's talent.

I think the biggest thing to come out of this whole thing is the realization that the Giants appear to be completely distraction-proof. They are 11-1, have won seven straight -- six against winning teams -- and have proven to be unaffected by injury, suspension, and now gunfire. Honestly, I think the only way to keep this team from winning is to blow up the team bus in the parking lot  before they can get off.

Side note: I loved that NBC sent Tiki Barber on assignment out to Washington to cover the game, just so he could use his status as ex-teammate to get some on-camera quotes about the Burress situation from some Giants players. The highlight was Tiki delivering this breathless update from FedEx Field: "There’s been some reports that Derrick Ward was the third Giant player at scene, but I found out it was actually Ahmad Bradshaw."

Wait, so it wasn’t that one backup RB who was there but didn’t have anything to do with the incident, it was that other backup RB who was there but didn’t have anything to do with the incident? Thank god you were there to clear that up for us, Tiki!

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT: If you missed the Pats/Steelers game this weekend, then you might want to check out this clip showing one of the very hardest hits I’ve ever seen. It may not have been completely ethical, it drew a flag, and will likely get tagged with a fine, but Ryan Clark’s de-cleater on Wes Welker over the middle has to go down as the most violent hit of the year so far. If you listen closely, you can hear Welker's I.Q. dropping as his head whiplashes back against the turf. The NFL: celebrating attempts to maim since 1922.

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Thanks to everybody who voted.  We 14 voters this week and the general consensus is that the Cowboys are the #1 team in the NFC.  The Vikings got a whole lot of love with several top 3 votes and of course the three #1 votes.  Considering Tavaris Jackson is running that offense, do people think the defense and Adrian Peterson are good enough?  I can certainly agree with a strong running game and a great defense being enough (see the 2000 champs from Baltimore).

After a relatively productive preseason, the 49ers dropped a spot to 11th, but their average ranking actually improved from 10.58 to 9.92.  The big reason for that change is people are definitely feeling better about the Carolina Panthers who jumped from 12th to 9th.  Jake Delhomme is the first quarterback to ever have Tommy John surgery, and if he can bounce back from that more power to him.

We'll be back for more of your rankings Monday night.  In the meantime, enjoy the weekend of football and if you haven't gotten your game predictions in yet, make sure and do that before tomorrow morning.  I'll probably promote the contest to the front page later this afternoon.