Since I still found it hard to believe the 49ers weren't playing I watched the entire Super Bowl with a blank expression on my face. My wife thought I was trying to look like Eli Manning. In the end I was glad the Giants won, partly because it meant the 49ers should have beaten the team that won it all, but mostly because it made me smile to think about the hell Rex Ryan must be going through right now.

A part of me really didn't want to watch the game but I soldiered on since I still needed to write a story for all the good people here at Niners Nation. Plus, I kind of get a kick out of knowing I'm watching the same thing at the exact moment so many other people I've known in my life are watching it, including my ex-High School girlfriend Sarah Mumford. Man I hate her. So without further ado (do people still say that?) here are some of my observations from this year's Super Bowl.

Chris Collinsworth is a tool

Before this game I generally had no opinion of Collinsworth one way or the other. To me he was like the sports equivalent of soccer. If you ask me about soccer the most you could expect in response is a shrug and a comment of mild indifference. That all changed when he said in the 4^th quarter, "We should just have these two teams play all the time." Sure, we should just let the Patriots and Giants play every year in the Super Bowl, the Lakers and Celtics play every year for the NBA Championship, and the Yankees and Phillies play every year in the World Series. That sounds like fun. Maybe there's a reason NBC is 4^th in the ratings. By the way, I don't know if you noticed but "The Voice" is back on NBC as well as a new show called "Smash". There were a couple of commercial breaks where they forgot to plug one of those shows so you might have missed it. Seth Meyers made a good point when he tweeted, "It's hard to believe this is the last Super Bowl in the pre-Smash era."

More Super Bowl observations after the jump...

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When I was a kid I had a problem controlling my anger especially when it came to sports. My room was literally filled with plaster marks from holes that needed to be covered. Since my dad was tired of constantly going to Home Depot he one day gave me a foam brick. The idea being I could throw that in anger but nothing would get broken.

In my first game with the foam brick something that was so important I can't even remember what it was anymore got me really angry and I threw my brick. I watched as it flew through the air and doinked harmlessly off the TV. So I went into my room and punched two holes in the wall instead of just one.

At times the 49ers offense reminded me of my old foam brick. Time after time they doinked harmlessly off the Giants defense and went 3-and-out. Yet in spite of that they were still in a position to win, and would have won if not for the fact they lost the turnover battle for the first time since,...well for the first time in a really long time. So long ago, I can't even remember how long ago it was. It was that long ago.

How could the 49ers who had 10 turnovers in 16 games have 2 in this one? How could the 49ers who had led the NFL in turnovers with 38 have zero in this one? What makes it worse is they easily could have had 2 interceptions but both were dropped when two 49er players going for the pick collided with each other. And there was another fumble that wasn't a fumble because of a quick whistle by the refs. Now that I'm thinking about it, I sure don't hear the Giants fans complaining any more after they almost went into cardiac arrest complaining last week about how the refs were trying to hand the game to the Packers after a non-fumble in that game.

More after the jump...

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The 2011 regular season will be remembered as the year of the QB. Drew Brees and Tom Brady both broke Dan Marino's 27 year old single season passing record of 5,087 yards and Matthew Stafford came close finishing with 5,038 yards. It was the first time 3 quarterbacks finished the year with over 5,000 yards passing and 10 quarterbacks finished with over 4,000 yards. Of course their numbers are greatly helped by the fact defenders are penalized if they hit the quarterbacks head, or go down low on his legs, or hit him too late after he throws the ball, or even if they hit him legally but were thinking about hitting him illegally, and the same is also becoming true towards receivers, but it's still an impressive stat.

Yet in the divisional round all those high powered offenses didn't seem to help their teams much. Brees and the Saints number 1 ranked offense? Gone! Aaron Rodgers and the Packers 2^nd best all time scoring offense? Eliminated! Tim Tebow and the Broncos super powered...uh, their high octane...wait, their ummm...their offense that's led by a really super nice guy? Crushed!

Meanwhile the 49ers and Ravens have had two of the top defenses all season, and the now healthy Giants defense has also really stepped up their play of late. Only the Patriots remain of the juggernaut offenses. I guess the old adage about defenses winning championships is true. Unless the Patriots win it all in which case maybe the Mayans were on to something after all with this whole 2012 thing.

Giants 37, Packers 20

After a franchise best 15-1 regular season, the loss at the hands of the Giants has the Packers feeling blue. No, too literal. The Packers loss to the Giants certainly felt like déjà blue. No, that won't work either. They may like cheese in Wisconsin but they hate it in their salad dressing. You know, because they don't like blue cheese.

The Packers defense will get blamed for this loss but it should be put on their offense. After all, their defense has been giving up yards all season long. You can't expect them to change now that it's the playoffs. Their offense however scored the second most points in the history of the NFL. I'm still trying to figure out where that team was on Sunday. They dropped 6 passes after averaging less than 2 a game for the season. On two separate occasions Rodgers missed wide open receivers, one which would have gone for a TD and another that would have given the Packers a 1^st down around the Giants 30-yard line. And they turned the ball over 5 times, I'm sorry*, they turned the ball over 4 times after turning it over only 14 times in their previous 16 games.

Now the Packers become the first team in the history of the NFL to win 15 games and not win at least 1 playoff game. I wonder if State Farm can somehow work that into their next Discount Double Check commercial.

*I just learned if a player losses the ball and the other team recovers and runs it 10 yards down the field before the fumbling player's knee hits the ground, it's too close call and therefore not a fumble.

The rest of the divisonal round games after the jump...

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Sometimes my wife looks at me like I'm insane. Watching me as I laughed maniacally after Demaryius Thomas raced down the sidelines for a game winning 80 yard TD was one of those moments. I'm not a Broncos fan and I'm definitely not a Tim Tebow fan, but I hate the Steelers. I don't mean that as an insult if you're a Steelers fan, you should just realize a lot of people really hate your team.

What made the whole thing even better wasn't that they lost, but it's that they lost to a team that almost everyone thought had no chance. It has to make the loss hurt that much more. No doubt Ben Roethlisberger was thinking after the game, "This must be how she felt."

Now the Broncos get to move on to play a Patriots team that slapped them around silly in Denver a few weeks ago. After that game Tom Brady told Tebow, "Maybe we'll see you again." After this game Tebow said of Brady's comment, "I guess he's a prophet." Come on! You couldn't just say he must be psychic?

Lions 28, Saints 45

Remember in those old Road Runner cartoons when Wile-E-Coyote would run several feet off the edge of a cliff, stop in midair, look down to find out there's nothing below him, and then fall? That was a little bit like the Lions in this game. They led 14-10 at the half and only trailed 24-21 going into the 4th before they realized they weren't supposed to win this game and crashed horribly. After all, they don't have Jesus helping them in the 4th quarter like the Broncos do.

Drew Brees threw for 466 yards and 3 touchdowns while leading the Saints offense to a playoff record 626 yards. The Lions also helped them by dropping 3 interceptions, allowing 92 of the Saints 167 rushing yards to come after first contact, allowed the Saints to convert on 4^th down 3 times and 3^rd down 7 of 11 times, and the Lions offense ended up punting after both turnovers the defense did force. Matthew Stafford, who threw for 380 yards including 211 to Calvin Johnson, was also picked off twice.

The rest of this game and Wild Card weekend after the jump...

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This was the week for records to be broken and for teams to fire head coaches and general managers. Strangely, while the 49ers had a chance to break several defensive records, they didn't manage to break any of them. Oh well, I guess we'll have to settle for watching them have a first round bye and a home playoff game in the divisional round.

There's also some good news that the NFC West is no longer the laughingstock of the NFL, and we all know the reason for that, the Harbaughcolypse. Did I spell that right? The 49ers 7 game improvement almost single handedly pulled the West out of the basement to respectability. The Cardinals also improved this year, winning 3 games more than they did last season, while the Seahawks finished with the same record as last year and the preseason favorite Rams finished 5 games worse. Here's how the 8 divisions in the NFL finished:

NFC East - 30-34, North - 36-28, South - 33-31, West - 30-34

AFC East - 33-31, North - 37-27, South - 26-38, West - 31-33

Now let's all take a moment to point our fingers and laugh at the AFC South before I run through all the games of week 17 in the NFL.

(Insert mocking and laughter here)

Cowboys 14, Giants 31

Looks like I inserted the mocking and laughter too soon. We should probably also take a minute to deride the Cowboys. After eking out a win on Thanksgiving over the Dolphins the Cowboys were a game in first place and basically just needed to win one of their two games against the Giants to win the NFC East. That's when the self implosion began. They iced their own kicker in an OT loss to the Cardinals, they blew an 11 point lead with under 5 minutes to play at home against the Giants, they got manhandled by the Eagles at home, and they looked like they weren't even trying in their final beat down at the hands of the Giants. Their only win in their last 5 games came against the Bucs who were in the process of their own self implosion while losing 10 in a row. Eli Mannning threw for 346 yards and 3 touchdowns, the Cowboys ground game managed only 49 yards, and the Cowboys defense missed so many tackles they're considering a career change to a Matador. "It's extremely painful and it's a damn shame," said Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. I don't know why but laughing at other people's misery sometimes makes me happy.

The rest of week 17 after the jump...

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The NFL is finally getting what they've been trying to get for a while, a lot of mediocrity. Going into the last game of the season 11 teams have records of either 8-7 or 7-8, over a third of all the teams. Depending on how things play out, it's at least possible that half the league will finish with between 7-9 wins. There's only 1 elite team, the Packers, and around 5 teams that are good but also have obvious areas of concern (49ers, Patriots, Ravens, Saints, and Steelers). While the rest of the NFL seems to be made up of slightly above average to slightly below average teams, with a handful of teams that just stink. At least we can feel good knowing the Broncos aren't receiving anymore divine help.

Chargers 10, Lions 38

Break out the Natty Light Detroit (Fooch, you can drink some if you like as well), the Lions are back in the playoffs for the first time since 1999! I guess that means tonight they're going to party like it's 1957! You know, because that was the last time they won it all. I can't help but feel like I'm missing a more obvious reference. Matthew Stafford threw for 373 yards and 3 touchdowns and Calvin Johnson had 102 yards receiving and a TD as the Lions jumped out to a 24-0 first half lead before cruising home for the blowout win. The win ends the Lions 11 year playoff drought while the loss eliminates the Chargers for the second straight season. I was about to say it's hard to believe a team with that much talent could miss the playoffs two years in a row but then I noticed the Cowboys were also about to miss for the second straight season. Wait, I remembered the more obvious reference. Tonight they're going to party like it's 1995, since that was the last year the Lions won 10 games in a season.

Cardinals 16, Bengals 23

Andy Dalton threw for 154 yards and 2 touchdowns joining Peyton Manning and Cam Newton as the only rookie quarterbacks to throw for over 3,000 yards and 20 touchdowns in their first season. The Bengals defense intercepted John Skelton 3 times, Jerome Simpson scored a highlight reel TD while doing his best impersonation of Mary Lou Retton (Do younger people know who she is?), and the Bengals withstood a late Cardinals charge to hold on for the win and take sole possession of the last playoff spot in the AFC. A win at home against the Ravens in their final game will lock up only the Bengals 3^rd playoff appearance over the last 20 years, all under Marvin Lewis. The Bengals are so desperate to have only their second home sellout of the year when they play the Ravens this Sunday they were offering buy one get one free tickets. So if the Bengals clinch a playoff spot next week and no one in Cincinnati is watching, are they a tree? No, that's not right. If they Bengals clinch a playoff spot and no in is there, do they make a sound? Wait, that's not it either. Maybe, if the Bengals are a tree and they fall over in the forest but no one is there, did they really fall over? Give me time, I know I'll get it eventually.

The rest of week 16 after the jump...

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I've been waiting for the 49ers to have a "suck it" win for some time now. I thought they had it when they won on the road in Detroit, but the Lions aren't your traditional powerhouse team and they've struggled some after that loss. I then thought they had their "suck it" win when they beat the Giants, but the Giants had previously lost to the Seahawks and they've been really inconsistent. Now that they humiliated the Steelers on MNF, I feel like they finally got their "suck it" win.

Sure Ben Roethlisberger wasn't 100% and they didn't have cheap shot artist extraordinaire James Harrison, but the 49ers were without Patrick Willis and lost both Ted Ginn and Joe Staley before the end. And let's be honest, Frank Gore hasn't been at 100% for some time now. As for the whining I've been hearing from some Steelers fans about the chop block penalty and the penalty on the FG that allowed the 49ers to turn it into a TD, the 49ers had their own horrible chop block penalty called on them that killed a drive in Steelers territory.

So to all those critics who said the Steelers would crush the 49ers and to everyone who still says they're pretenders and have no chance in the playoffs against a real playoff team, Suck It!

Patriots 41, Broncos 23

Noooo! Khaaaaaan! Wait, that's not right. Bradeeeeeey! The Broncos offense flipped the script by playing well in the first quarter, putting up 16 points on their first three drives, but they got little going after that. Tom Brady shredded the Broncos usually stout defense for 320 yards and 2 touchdowns and the Patriots quieted the talk of making Tebow a Saint. After the game Bill Belichick went up to Tebow and said, "Tim, I am your father." To which Tebow replied, "Coming from a great coach like you, that's an honor." Seriously, the guy never seems to get upset at anything. He then jumped off a platform but luckily there was a slide at the bottom and after coming to a rest there was a conveniently placed hatch that just happened to open at that moment, because what duct system doesn't have oddly placed hatches that open on their own at random times making it much easier for someone to fall out the bottom of Cloud City so if needed, they could be more easily picked up by the Millenium Falcon? Yes, I referenced both Star Trek and Star Wars because I'm a geek and proud of it.

The rest of week 15 after the jump...

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LL Cool J put it best when he said, "So forget Oreos eat Cool J cookies." Wait, that wasn't right. He put it best when he said, "They call me Jaws, my hat is like a sharks fin." No, that wasn't it either. Was it when he said, "You can scratch my back, well get cozy and huddle?" Hold on, I remember. He put it best when he said, "Mama said knock you out!" At least that's what James Harrison was thinking when he leveled Colt McCoy. No, LL Cool J put it best when he said, "Don't call it a comeback!"

The Broncos, Giants, Texans, and Falcons all came back to win after being behind with the Broncos, Giants, and Texans managing to come back from 2 scores down late in the 4th. The Vikings, Titans, and Redskins also mounted big come backs and all three drove down into the red zone in the closing seconds but they all failed to punch it in for the win. You know what, no matter how tough that loss was on Sunday at least we can point to almost every other team in the NFL and say, "At least I'm not that guy." Now on to the rest of week 14.

Bears 10, Broncos 13

OK, this is really starting to get ridiculous. If the Broncos were winning because, like the Packers, they were simply playing better than the other team, I could live with that. But they're winning in what can only be described as, "You've got to be freaking kidding me!" ways. This game against the Bears was just another example. Trailing 10-0 with less than 5 minutes to play, Tim Tebow led the Broncos down the field on a 63-yard TD drive in just under 2 ½ minutes to cut the lead to 10-7. Alright, no big deal, that's what Tebow's been doing at the end of every game. When they lined up for the onside kick with 2:08 to play I figured they would get it since that's the kind of luck the Broncos have been having. So when the ball bounced around between what felt like 10 different players and the Bears ended up with it I thought that this was the end of the Tebow magic. I was wrong.

On second down after the two minute warning, and the Broncos without any time outs, all the Bears had to do was run it two more times, punt, than the Broncos would have maybe 15-20 seconds to tie the game. That's when Marion Barber did the unbelievable. On second down he ran out of bounds. No really, he ran out of bounds even though the Broncos had no way of stopping the clock. As I said before, "You've got to be freaking kidding me!" The Broncos got the ball back with 53 seconds, drove down the field for a Matt Prater 59-yard FG as time expired that I knew would be good even before he kicked it since, you know, Tebow is on his team, then Prater kicked a 51-yard FG in OT for the win. "He's a good running back," Brian Urlacher said of Tebow after the loss. Tebow's response to the slight, "Coming from a really good player, that means a lot." Aaahhh! Forget Tebowing, we have a new verb. I'm sorry Bears, you got worse than screwed, you got Tebowed.

The rest of week 14 after the jump...

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