Monsters of the Midway? More like the Chicago Chipmunks

by David Fucillo on Mar 25, 2008 2:12 PM PDT in San Francisco 49ers News

For those of you who are fans of the Christmas classic "A Christmas Story," you may remember the chipmunk line. After Ralphie gets in a fight, his mom distracts his dad by mentioning the Chicago game coming up against the Packers. The dad makes a joke about how they're called the Monsters of the Midway, but really should be maybe the Chicago Chipmunks.

Anyways, the whole point of that was to bring up the topic of renaming the rats that started this whole business with the tampering. As annoyed as I am with the Roger Goodell and even with the 49ers for even putting themselves in this sort of situation, it's the fact that the Bears cried to the league about this that bugs me.

While nobody has a clear-cut answer for why the Chipmunks pitched a hissy fight about this, Barrows threw out some rhetorical questions:

If the Bears and the 49ers indeed were in serious negotiations over Briggs, then the Bears would have had to known that the 49ers were talking to Rosenhaus. After all, who would trade for a player without a long-term deal in place? Maybe the Bears were angry because they sensed that there was a deal in place before the 49ers approached them about a trade? Or did they grow weary of Rosenhaus trying to leverage them with the 49ers' offer? Or were they trying to fend off a team they suspected had a very good chance of signing Briggs, who after all grew up in Sacramento?

Hopefully karma swings back and kicks Chipmunks in the butt, but that doesn't mean we can't give them the evil eye on this business anyways. Accordingly, the time has come to rename the Monsters of the Midway. Whatever we decide on will be official Niners Nation name for them until penance has been achieved (likely never). So any thoughts? I pulled Chipmunks from "A Christmas Story," but I know there have to be better options that that. Chicago Rats or Chicago Babies is just too blah...something a little more subtle would work better. Although I have no problem just calling them the Chicago Bitches, I'd like to at least make people look at the name and truly be reminded of all this.

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It's Ok

The Bear are about to take a total nose dive. There once formidable defense is aging, their QB plain out sucks, their RB is a bust, they have no recievers and their best offensive player is only a special teamer. At this point their organization is just grasping at straws in a futile effort of trying to avoid the trainwreck that will be their '08 season and beyond.

Here's to hoping Albert Hanyesworth stomps on Alex Smith's head.

by methodrampage on Mar 25, 2008 2:35 PM PDT reply actions

It t'was...it t'was....Sopoaga poisoning

Man, I love that movie.

Here is an idea for a name. How about the Chicago Tampons?

by jfainsf49 on Mar 25, 2008 2:42 PM PDT reply actions

Keep it simple...

How about the Chicago Pissy Little Beeyotches?

The Chicago "You play football like a girl"s?

The Chicago I'm Officially Out Of Ideas?

Thinking of giving up sports and taking up heavy drinking.

by Drunken Miller on Mar 25, 2008 4:53 PM PDT reply actions

No, Chipmunks is the right name.

After all, anyone who remembers the cartoon Alvin and the Chipmunks knows that all they do well is SING!

by grantmp on Mar 25, 2008 5:00 PM PDT reply actions

This is a harsh one

But how about the Chicago Cunts?

Yeah, its harsh, but screw them. They fingered us out of a fifth rounder and upgraded their own 3rd.

by addictedtogold on Mar 25, 2008 5:31 PM PDT reply actions

I got it

The Chicago Cubs!

They'll suck forever with a name like that.

I keep reliving the moment when Steve Young almost fell down... over and over....

by howtheyscored on Mar 25, 2008 5:34 PM PDT reply actions

See

What I did there is I took the idea of "Chicago Babies" that you threw out above, and I turned it around to apply to Bears. Baby Bear = Cub.

I keep reliving the moment when Steve Young almost fell down... over and over....

by howtheyscored on Mar 25, 2008 5:37 PM PDT up reply actions

well played...

It's subtle yet obvious!

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by David Fucillo on Mar 25, 2008 6:59 PM PDT up reply actions

The ultimate insult

by notor @ Niners Nation on Mar 26, 2008 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Nicknames

the chicago snitches
The chicago deep throats
The chicago stoolies
the chicago weasels
the chicago squealers
the chicago judases
the chicago Benedict Arnolds
the chicago gripers
the chicago bellyachers
the chicago douchebags
the chicago douch nozzles

We could go with a rhyme
the chicago care bears
the chicago questionaires
the chicago unawares

Or the old stand bye
The Chicago Fuckers

Tom will never be as cool as Joe

by wader251 on Mar 25, 2008 7:40 PM PDT reply actions

interesting

I do like the Chicago Stoolies...We could take it one step further and call them the Chicago Pigeons since stoolie comes from stool pigeon....takes it a whole level deeper and most people wouldn't have a clue what it meant!

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by David Fucillo on Mar 25, 2008 8:28 PM PDT up reply actions

The Chicago

Sex Cannons... just to remind them that they actually signed Rex Grossman to another contract.

by jaytierney on Mar 25, 2008 8:01 PM PDT reply actions

Sex Cauldron??!

I thought they closed that place down!

I keep reliving the moment when Steve Young almost fell down... over and over....

by howtheyscored on Mar 25, 2008 9:37 PM PDT up reply actions

good one

This entire episode reminds me of the alcohol free generation in Chicago, except that time Elliot Ness was the whiny complainer fixing the ills of Alcohol, guess that worked out well in Chicago. Anyway, I looked into mobster slang, and a BABBO (Babbo: A dope, idiot, useless underling.) Just seems to fit the team, the Chicago Babbo's

by Gailikk on Mar 26, 2008 4:46 AM PDT reply actions

Babbo

My understanding of the word "Babbo" is that it means father.

We are not who I thought we were.

by marcello on Mar 26, 2008 9:15 AM PDT up reply actions

nickname?

Yeah make a nick name to mock the Bears, like the addition of Briggs would help this sorry team. The 49er are losers with no future of a winning season in site. The Bears used the 49ers to gain an advantage be mad at the 49ers for this. How about the San Fransico Doormats!

by sweetvalleyhigh on Mar 26, 2008 7:40 AM PDT reply actions

hmmm

Big talk from a 7-9 team.

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by David Fucillo on Mar 26, 2008 8:13 AM PDT up reply actions

grossman

Even bigger talk considering you resigned the Sex Cannon. Good luck with that one.

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by David Fucillo on Mar 26, 2008 8:25 AM PDT up reply actions

yep

Good luck with whatever players you have at all of the positions on your team. You need help at all of them! Could use as many draft picks as you could get, too bad.

by sweetvalleyhigh on Mar 26, 2008 8:30 AM PDT up reply actions

The Bears Offense

might be the only one worse than the Niners next year.

Here's to hoping Albert Hanyesworth stomps on Alex Smith's head.

by methodrampage on Mar 26, 2008 8:41 AM PDT up reply actions

Ouch

You really got me there. I'm gonna go cry in the corner now because I got beaten by the big, bad Stoolies fan.

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by David Fucillo on Mar 26, 2008 9:28 AM PDT up reply actions

So

You really came here to troll because your team thought two missed phone calls with unknown intent was worth making a bitch fest out of?

The "cheating" has nothing but the most circumstantial of evidence behind it, and we're being punished on that basis because the Bears front office whined like babies over what is obvious to a toddler was nothing. Yeah, we're going to be a little miffed by that. I just don't see where your legs are on this one. I mean, your legs to stand on.

But, trolling needs no legs to stand on. Trolls have very strong arms.

I keep reliving the moment when Steve Young almost fell down... over and over....

by howtheyscored on Mar 26, 2008 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions

Hey Fooch

I hope we don't have to keep dealing with this much longer. Obvious trolls are bothersome.

I keep reliving the moment when Steve Young almost fell down... over and over....

by howtheyscored on Mar 26, 2008 10:29 AM PDT reply actions

Trolls

I was gonna put up a front page post on this, but it's not something that opposing team's fans will likely see. My general policy is that I have no problem with other teams' fans coming here and commenting on issues with the 49ers. When you start going where the stoolies guy went, that's crossing the line. He's banned and that's the end of it. I've deleted all the comments related to that, including responses by our own readers because it was a tangent that doesn't need to be rehashed.

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by David Fucillo on Mar 26, 2008 10:41 AM PDT reply actions