state of the union Stories - Niners Nation
2011 Kansas Football Preview: Jayhawk State of the Union
If it isn’t obvious who lost the BC office Game of Thrones, then go read texags.com and leave me the hell alone. Someone had to stage a coup d’état to steal my Baylor assignment from me. Now I feel like some stupid third world dictator that didn’t know he wasn’t king until the bullet passed...
2011 Oklahoma Football Preview: Sooner State of The Union
Oklahoma is the unanimous preseason #1 because pollsters overrate favorable schedules, forget that OU scraped together half of their 2010 wins with more difficulty than their child support lien, and fail to recognize that winning a BCS game is a necessary component of a national title. Oklahoma...
2009 Texas Football Preview: State of the Union
Last nights games signaled the beginning of college football season and for all the excitement that brings it sadly also signals the end of State of the Union season, that magical time of year when we invite fans from all around middle America here to tell us we're unfunny racists. Like our moms...
2009 Oklahoma Football Preview: State of The Union
There are rituals of autumn known to every Sooner. The foliage on the state's dozen trees turn to fiery hues, the summer dust and grit coating tooth relents, and the harvest of copper wiring from homes commences before the bank's short sale. And then there's Sooner football... Oklahoma is led by...
2009 Kansas State Football Preview: State of the Union
The single biggest challenge in writing up anything about Kansas State, on any subject if I had to guess, is making the story interesting enough to keep the reader awake beyond the first few words. Sailor Ripley is a sick human being that needs to be wrapped in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds...
2009 Oklahoma State Football Preview: State of the Union
It's September, 2005. A.D. Mike Holder: Lester Miles is a very steady young man. We're lucky to have him coaching our football team for us. OSU Fairy Godmother T. Boone Pickens: Oh hogwash! Elyria . . . Michigan. He's a product of good environment. Mike Holder: It's got nothing to do with...
2009 Kansas Football Preview: State of the Union
I wanna rock right now. I wanna chalk right now. My name's Dope and I came to get down. I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock the microphone. WHOO... YEAH! Hold up. If you're lost check this out then come back. No worries mate, we'll wait. Hell open a new frame and play it on a...
2009 Colorado Football Preview: State of the Union
Dan Hawkins is a confident guy, but he’s not a patient guy. He wants to win now. The Colorado fanbase isn’t so much impatient as they are apathetic. If you don’t want the student body eating Nepalese food and listening to Ward Churchill speeches rather than watching football, you need to give them...
2009 Texas A&M Football Preview: State of The Union
Aggie football players are a lot like the Aggie Corps of Cadets. Some of them are the real thing and deserve your respect, but most play dress up for four years pretending to be something they’re not and end up selling insurance in Tomball. Witness the perfect illustration of my point. West Point....
2009 Baylor Football Preview: State of the Union
If I'm looking at the upcoming football season through the prism of a Baylor fan I can't help but be hopeful. And I'm not talking Shawshank Redemption hopeful where I'm worried about prison rape and crawling through a mile of raw sewage, I'm talking legitimate hope, although it has probably seemed...
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