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Okay, so I'm still figuring out how to turn this Caption This! thing into 49ers wins. When I finally figure the formula out, we're going to sit in undefeated-for-the-rest-of-the-year city and talk to all of our jealous friends about how great the schools are there. Anyway, let's review:

I've run two non-49er images this season. Both times, the 49ers got blown out in the next game. I've run two 49ers images this season. One had Jimmy Raye and Alex Smith. One had Jimmy Raye. Both times, the 49ers were in a position to win the game before something terrible metaphorically happened. Against the Saints, it was a metaphorical earthquake that drove down the field with ease on its initial hit and then kicked a field goal in the first aftershock. Against the Falcons, I think it was a metaphorical Tokka and Rahzar. Though babies - BABIES! - these two are metaphorically trained for destruction. On the bright side, they do metaphorically answered that whole nature versus nurture debate. But on the dim side, they also metaphorically destroyed every pizza shop in the area that delivers to sewers. And then, we metaphorically lost on a last second field goal.

Wait: one of those things was actually literal. I'm pretty sure it was the field goal thing. But just in case, I am going to Tokka-and-Rahzar-proof my apartment. I suggest you do the same.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

49ers-oriented Caption This!'s put the 49ers in a position to win. Jimmy Raye ones seem to guarantee heartbreaking loss. I will systematically work through the roster and coaching staff until I figure out who we need to make fun of to make this thing work. This week, we'll try Alex Smith. I would have gone with somebody else, but Alex made it easy by forgetting how to use gravity for a few seconds.

Enjoy! As usual, use the comments for your captions, and rec' your favorite ones.