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My Mom Married an Alien

I've never been one to buy into conspiracy theories. I believe there is life out there somewhere in the universe, but I don't think they're secretly studying us while being mostly undetected. I don't think they're abducting us and I believe if there were life forms capable of crossing the vast distances of space, they surely could come up with a better way of examining us besides shoving a probe up our anal cavity. I believe the earth is round, we've landed on the moon, and two airplanes taken over by terrorists brought down the twin towers. I also believe JFK was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald, and I agree with what McManus said while looking through his gun scope at 7 men in the movie The Usual Suspects, "Oswald was a p....". But there are times when things happen that cause me to be very sceptical, and the latest twist in the Ben Roethlisberger investigation is one of those times.

News has come out that the DVD recording in the Capital City nightclub on the night of the alleged incident is gone. Bar owner, Rocky Duncan, said he watched the recording and instructed his tech guy to make a copy for the police. Unfortunately, he had a problem retrieving the information. The Georgia Bureau of Investigations then tried to get the recording, but ran into the same problem. Turns out, the recording of the night was overwritten. The lawyer for the nightclub then issued this statement, "The DVD system overwrote itself...Had it just been deleted, they might have been able to save some of it." The surveillance system is on a 6 day loop. Considering the effort to retrieve the recording happened only 3 days after the incident, they're should have been no problem.

So what exactly happened? For one thing, this trip to Georgia wasn't done on the spur of the moment. It had been planned weeks in advance for Ben Roethlisberger's birthday. Around ten of his friends chartered a bus for a weekend getaway they dubbed, "Ben-o-Palooza". They even had matching white Palooza T-shirts made for the trip. Because that's what normal people do when they plan a trip with their friends. They make them wear matching T-shirts. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Big Ben has a big ego. Apparently those Fathead commercials were talking about more than just the size of the posters.

Despite the missing video evidence, some information has come out. According to a source at the Milledgeville Police Department, the woman accusing Roethlisberger of sexually assaulting her was "hysterical" when she spoke to police. The source said she showed up with 3 other women and was extremely emotional and looked like she'd been crying for hours. The 20 year old making the acusation said she entered the ladies bathroom and that Roethlisberger came in later. While inside, she hit her head. Roethlisberger said she fell on her own. It's possible considering she was fairly hammered at the time. The woman said she hit her head because of the assault. The missing video wouldn't have helped here since they don't record the women's bathroom. Then again, maybe they do record in the bathroom which was why they were overwritten.

But the story gets even better. Duncan, the bar owner, told police one of the accusers friend's came to him during the night and said, "I think my friend is in the bathroom with Ben, but the door is locked, and I'm trying to get back there, and this guy [one of Ben's friends] wouldn't let me through." She then added, "I think my friend may be drunk." So the woman entered the bathroom, Ben followed, and one of his friends locked the door and made sure no one else could get in. Just out of curiosity, where exactly do you sit while trying to get it on inside a dirty bar bathroom? The wall seems like the only safe choice.

So that seems to be the jist of it for now. How this will all play out is anyone's guess. The good news for Steelers fans is that Roethlisberger started last season surrounded by sexual charges and it didn't seem to affect his play at all. The bad news for Big Ben is that it might affect his long term position with the team. I know he's already won two Super Bowls, but does the franchise really want to put their future in the hands of someone who seems hell bent on self destructing? The first Ben-o-Palooza was fun for Ben, but the Ben-o-Palooza that will follow in the media, will be anything but fun for him.