If you look at who this post about and say "Who?" I will personally drive to wherever you are and beat you unconscious with a bible. Why a bible? I have no idea, don't question me blogslaves. Brian Jennings, as we all (better) know, is the long snapper for the 49ers. He is perhaps the best player on the 49ers, playing his position better than anyone else plays their's. That's just how it is. Patrick Willis, Andy Lee and Isaac Sopo... aha, I can't even complete that.. yeah.
Jennings doesn't really practice his craft much. He doesn't pay attention to very much game tape and he doesn't stress over any potential mismatches. He goes out there, he gives everyone in the crowd a full on view of his backside and package, snaps a football to the waiting hands of Andy Lee and then deals with the few hundred pounds of man trying to knock him out and after that goes off to make a tackle if he can.
His job is a simple one, and very thankless - after all, the overwhelming majority of people won't know who he is until he makes a bad snap that causes the team to lose. That's the one and only time a long snapper really gets the spotlight (for the most part). It sucks because he's so good at what he does. When a team has long snapper issues, it's evident. It's clear, you can see it every time they need to punt. The 49ers in the past.. let's go with 'buncha' years haven't had to worry about that. It's a good feeling. After the jump I define your voting criteria.
Very High: Brian Jennings long snaps a ball so hard it actually travels through Andy Lee's chest and all the way around the world, back between Jennings' leg and into Lee's hands, who punts the ball. While the ball is in the air, Jennings performs a quick surgery to repair Lee's chest, before then running downfield to take away four blockers on a quadruple team.
Very High: Jennings long snaps the ball and then throws the first three people he sees onto the ground. He makes his way to the punt returner and actually hits him so hard he collapses into his own rectum.
Very High: The 49ers go to the Super Bowl, and that's when Jennings reveals he can play other positions too. He spikes the drinks of Manny Lawson, Ahmad Brooks, Travis LaBoy and Diyral Briggs. They all pass out, and Jennings fills in. He ends up with seven sacks on the game and wins Super Bowl MVP. Jennings stands over Alex Smith saying "come on, jump for it. You can do it". Smith cries.
Very High: Brian Jennings settles the whole Brett Favre issue by long-snapping a football through Favre's other ankle. He's not coming back. The next ten seasons are spent on "Jennings Watch" as he keeps everyone waiting as to when he's going to retire. In 2020, Jennings announces on ESPN that he's heading to Miami to play for the Heat. That year, the Heat wins their first championship since 2006. LeBron retires the year before.
Very Low: He snaps the ball so hard that the very fabric of space and time is ripped apart and everyone is killed as all of the oxygen is ripped out of the planet. Good job, Brian. Jerk.