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Week 5 NFL Picks: Gladly Being Wrong

For last week's picks I took the safe route. I picked against my team and predicted the Eagles would win. I was awesomely wrong. In fact, the 49ers record is better than my record is predicting their games (2-2), and I couldn't be happier. It's also the first bye week in the NFL. Which means of course, less opportunities for wrong picks. So that's good.

Despite not having faith in my team and the Bills breaking my heart, I still put up a respectable 13-3 record. I seem to be hot and cold with these picks. I'll go 8-7 one week and 14-2 the next. Then back to 9-7. Then 13-3. It's a good thing I'm not picking against spreads. I'd be pitiful. If I was a professional sports franchise, I'd be maddening to my fans. It's a good thing I don't have any to disappoint.

Record Last Week: 13-3
Overall Record: 44-19 (69.8%)

Philadelphia Eagles at Buffalo Bills

The Bills disappointed me big time last week and I'm still not over it. I wanted to be able to say the Bills and Lions were undefeated going into week five. The Eagles had a must-win game week four and couldn't pull it out. I can't imagine them losing their second straight "must win" in a row. For the sake of Andy Reid's, his life...I'll predict an Eagles win.

Winner: Eagles

Kansas City Chiefs at Indianapolis Colts

We dodged a bullet here. This isn't a prime-time game. I just can't go with a team with Curtis Painter on it. His hair bugs me. It's not voluptuous and shiny Tim Lincecum hair. It's white trash, and I will not stand for it. Oh...and his face. I want to punch it.

Winner: Chiefs

Arizona Cardinals at Minnesota Vikings

This is a tough game for me, and it's not because there are two quality opponents facing off. The Vikings aren't good. Donovan McNabb looks to be a shell of himself. Perhaps facing a terrible secondary will remedy that. But at the same time, I'd really love to see the Cardinals at 1-4. I'm going to go with my heart hear and hope for more separation in the NFC West.

Winner: Vikings

Seattle Seahawks at New York Giants

I'm going to give the Seahawks some credit. They didn't give up against the Atlanta Falcons last week and made a game of it. Sidney Rice has been their best addition and him and Tarvaris Jackson have had their chemistry in Minnesota follow them to Seattle. Still, I just can't see them going on the road and beating the Giants. History tells me west coast teams traveling to the east coast for an early game means a loss.

Winner: Giants

Tennessee Titans at Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers are a banged up. James Harrison and Aaron Smith have been ruled out for the game, Rashard Mendenhall is questionable, and Ben Roethlisberger has a bum foot. The Steelers could be ripe for an upset against the surprisingly good Titans. Call me a wuss, but I just can't call the upset on this one despite the Steelers injuries.

Winner: Steelers

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers

The Panthers have put up some impressive offensive numbers this season. Have you seen Steve Smith's numbers? He has over 500 yards receiving and is averaging 22 yards per reception. I think it's safe to say he's glad to have Cam Newton under center. These great numbers haven't translated to many wins, however, and I don't think that will start against the Saints this weekend.

Winner: Saints

Cincinnati Bengals at Jacksonville Jaguars

I really couldn't tell you why, but I'm going to go with the Jaguars here. The Bengals had an impressive comeback win over the Bills last week, and we'll always remember them for thwarting the Bills perfect season, but my gut tells me the Jaguars pull this one out. I don't even know who the Jaguars are putting at quarterback, and I honestly don't care enough to check. I'm going to assume it's Blaine "Checkdown" Gabbert.

Winner: Jaguars

Oakland Raiders at Houston Texans

I have much more faith in the Texans being able to defend the Raiders than I do the Raiders defending the Texans. Even with Andre Johnson being injured. Arian Foster finally made his fantasy owners happy last week and the Raiders have been terrible against the run this year. If the Patriots run on you, then your team has problems.

Winner: Texans

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at San Francisco 49ers

I'm always nervous when I pick my team to win. Yes, even when they are playing the Seahawks at home. Please don't make me regret this 49ers. Please let the offensive line block and the secondary cover. If that happens, I like our chances.

Winner: 49ers

San Diego Chargers at Denver Broncos

My love for Brandon Lloyd, which started as soon as he was drafted by the 49ers, is not enough for me to pick against the Chargers here. The Broncos just aren't very good. The Chargers are. This is one of those "must pick right" games the Eagles can't seem to get right. Hopefully I can.

Winner: Chargers

New York Jets at New England Patriots

When in doubt, some people pick whichever mascot they think would win in a fight. I think that's silly so I don't do that. I look at the quarterbacks. Hmm...Tom Brady vs. Mark Sanchez. What to do?

WInner: Patriots

Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons

Aaron Rodgers destroyed my fantasy team all by himself last week, but I just can't stay mad at my favorite college quarterback of all time. Matt Ryan may be money at home, but how many times has he faced this year's Packers team at home?

Winner: Packers

Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions

I have a feeling the defensive line of the Lions is going to get to Jay Cutler a few times or 20. The Lions also showed Tony Romo they can take advantage of stupid throws. Stupid throws and Jay Cutler go hand in hand.

Winner: Your undefeated Lions