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2011 NFL Season: Week 11

Thanks for playing horribly in this game Mark so I could steal the limelight.
Thanks for playing horribly in this game Mark so I could steal the limelight.

I can't Tebow what I just Tebowed.  How did he Tebow that?  I mean, when he Tebowed the Dolphins in the last few Tebows, that was one thing.  Then when he Tebowed the Raiders in Oakland I started to take Tebow.  After the Chiefs Tebow, I thought there might be Tebowing to this.  But what I Tebowed with the Jets, I just couldn't Tebow it.  Seriously, how does he keep Tebowing this every Tebow.  It's Tebowable.  I don't Tebow about everyone else but I Tebowed it more when Farve was Farving his Farve to sideline reporters and the sideline reporter didn't like that Farve Farved her his Farve so she let everyone know what Farve had Farved.  But what Tebow Tebowed, unbetebowable.  Sorry, I'm way behind on my Tebow quota. 

Jets 13, Broncos 17

In all fairness the Broncos defense deserves most of the credit for this win.  Before Tim Tebow's late game heroics the Broncos offense had managed only 134 yards and 3 points despite constantly starting with good field position.  And if the defense hadn't scored a TD of their own it wouldn't have mattered what Tebow did at the end of the game.  But Tebow is Tebow so...Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, and Tebow.  There, I think I finally got it out of my system.

Panthers 35, Lions 49

The Lions fell into an early 24-7 hole, but this isn't your father's Lions, or your grandfather's Lions, or even your great-grandfather's Lions for that matter.  These Lions can come back and win.  Matthew Stafford led the Lions comeback, throwing for 335 yards and 5 touchdowns, and for the first time since the pilgrims gave smallpoxed laced blankets to the Native Americans (Native in the sense they got here way before everyone else, but "We got here first" Americans doesn't really role off the tongue) the Lions will be relevant on Thanksgiving.

The rest of week 11 after the jump...

Jaguars 10, Browns 14

Chris Ogbonnaya carried the ball 21 times for 115 yards and a TD to lead the Browns over the Jags and my only question afterwards was, "Who's Chris Ogbonnaya?"  Honestly, about the most entertaining thing about this game was when Maurice Jones-Drew did his LeBron James impersonation after scoring a first quarter TD.  Was that really necessary Maurice?  Isn't it bad enough they live in Cleveland?

Buccaneers 25, Packers 36

Josh Freeman threw for 342 yards and 2 touchdowns but he also threw 2 interceptions and couldn't quite complete the comeback when the Bucs failed to convert their second onside kick of the day.  Bucs coach Raheem Morris summed it up best when he said, "It is what it is."  Some of his other more memorable quotes have been, "The weather's nice in Florida," and "That fart sure does stink."

Bills 8, Dolphins 35

Matt Moore led the Dolphins to their third straight win, completing 14 of 20 passes for 160 yards and 3 touchdowns.  Meanwhile, Ryan Fitzpatrick has figured he already signed his $59 million deal so he doesn't actually have to win anymore.  He's now lost all three games since signing his new deal.  He said after the game, "For the past three weeks, it has not been fun to play, and I'm sure it has not been fun to watch."  I'm not so sure about that.  If people didn't like to see wrecks they wouldn't rubberneck so much when passing one on the freeway.

Raiders 27, Vikings 21

Carson Palmer threw for 164 yards and a TD while Michael Bush ran for 109 and a TD.  Yet despite the win, the Raiders made a lot of mistakes that let the Vikings hang around.  "Like Coach Jackson said, we haven't played a complete football game yet," Palmer said.  "And it's scary to think, when we do, what it's going to look like."  Well you don't have to look far.  Just watch some of the 49ers wins and you'll see what it looks like.

Cowboys 27, Redskins 24

Tony Romo threw for 292 yards and 3 touchdowns, and more importantly, once again didn't throw any interceptions.  Even Rex Grossman, who's usually good for a couple a game, only threw one.  The game winning OT field goal was set up when Romo found Dez Bryant for 30 yards, converting on 3rd-and-21.  DeAngelo Hall, who was covering Bryant on the play, said, "The way I'm playing right now, they need to go and cut me."  Well if everyone was held to that standard half the Redskins would be cut.

Bengals 24, Ravens 31

Andy Dalton threw for 374 yards but he also threw 3 costly interceptions and the Bengals couldn't quite complete the comeback against the Ravens.  The win now sets up the epic clash on Thanksgiving between the AFC North leading Ravens and the NFC West leading 49ers in what is being dubbed "The Harbowl".  Harbowl?  Really?  That's the best they could come up with?  Oh, I get it.  "Bowl" kind of rhymes with "baugh".  It's like, a pun or something.

Seahawks 24, Rams 7

Is it too early to start calling Sam Bradford a bust?  He really is playing craptastic.  And yes, craptastic is a real word.  I know because I googled it.  Bradford's numbers have actually been worse this year than they were last year, and they weren't that great last year.  Even Alex Smith put up better numbers in his second year than Bradford has.  Maybe the real problem is that they both had Brandon Lloyd as their primary receiver.  Oh, I almost forgot, the Seahawks won.  Not really sure how since I didn't bother to watch any of the game and I would fast forward whenever the highlights came on, but I did see what the final score was.  Got to love Tivo.

Titans 17, Falcons 23

The Falcons jumped out to a 23-3 lead but Matt Hasselbeck hurt his throwing arm and Jake Locker came in, threw 2 TD passes, and almost led the Titans to a comeback win.  I guess that means Hasselbeck will once again be looking for a new team in the offseason.  I hear the weather's nice during the winter in Arizona.  Chris Johnson carried the ball 12 times for 13 yards and the Titans are starting to wonder if they wouldn't have been better off letting him sit out the year.

Chargers 20, Bears 31

Jay Cutler threw for 286 yards and 2 touchdowns while Phillip Rivers threw for 280 yards and 2 more interceptions as the Bears held off the Chargers for the win.  Yet while the Bear may have won, they also lost when it was discovered Cutler will miss 6-8 weeks with a finger injury.  As for the Chargers, they may have lost but they...well, I guess there is no bright side.  They simply lost their 5th straight game.  You know things are bad when you're trailing the Tebow led Broncos in the standings.  Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow!  Sorry, I promise that was the last time.

Eagles 17, Giants 10

Stupid Eagles!  Can you just make up your mind already?  Are you a good team that can beat the Giants on the road and can crush the Cowboys, or are you a bad team that loses to the Cardinals at home?  Seriously, you're killing my office pick-em pool.  LeSean "My name is what?" McCoy ran for 113 yards and Vince Young found Riley Cooper in the end zone for the go ahead TD with 2:45 to play.  And yes, I know his nickname is "Shady" not "Slim Shady" but just go with it.  I seem to be noticing a trend where good teams lose to the 49ers and then fall apart afterwards.

Chiefs 3, Patriots 34

Tyler Palko filled in for the injured Matt Cassel and threw 3 interceptions, mostly when the Chiefs were about to score.  Tom Brady threw for 234 yards and 2 touchdowns, and for the second straight week the Patriots defense responded to critics that they were the weakness of the team by crushing an opposing team's offense.  Of course it helps that the opposing team's offenses were run by Mark Sanchez and Tyler Palko.  "We did too many things that get you beat in this league too many times," said Chiefs linebacker Tamba Hali.  Sure if turning the ball over 3 times, all 3 of which happened after the offense had driven into Patriots territory, allowing a 52-yard TD reception, and giving up a 72-yard punt return for a TD are things that will get you beat.

Cardinals 7, 49ers 23

I can't believe Alex Smith missed 3 field goals, was constantly holdind on the punt returns, and dropped that TD pass in the 1st quarter.  What a bum.  This might be the most unsatisfied I've ever felt after a 49ers win.  It was kind of like a bad sexual encounter.  You can tell from the start it's not going well but you've already committed yourself so you just go with it.  At some point you actually do start enjoying it but then it's over and you're left wondering how quickly can you leave without appearing to be rude.