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NN NFL Tournament of Badness Opening Round: Al Davis, Matt Millen and Ricky Bobby

Yuck. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Yuck. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Getty Images

Apparently, I seeded the left side of the bracket like a madman and forgot all about the right side, because we've got another upset on our hands. At the time of writing this, Joe Theismann is really losing to Less Cheerleaders, and I honestly can't believe it! That being said, Joe Theismann is definitely only one half of one of the worst commentating duos in league history ... he had a partner. That partner is Matt Millen. Unfortunately for Millen, his partner is probably going down because you're all a bunch of pigs and are voting for the option that includes fewer women. I suppose I underestimated it! Either way, it's a good match today, as Matt Millen is taking on "Al Davis Drafting Like He's Being Advised By Ricky Bobby."

So make the jump to read the descriptions of the participants for today, read full results from the left side of the bracket and of course, view the entire bracket. But first: remember, we are voting on what we believe to be the absolute worst thing of the two. If you're voting in a worst food contest, and you like pizza more than hamburgers, you would then vote for hamburgers in that matchup. Get it? Got it? Good. Make the jump.

(6) Al Davis Drafting Like He's Being Advised By Ricky Bobby

Al Davis likes fast guys. He loves fast receivers and definitely loves wide defensive backs. He drafted Darrius Heyward-Bey over Michael Crabtree (I guess the verdict is still out on that) because he was faster. Davis apparently thinks the NFL is a footrace. It's not, Al. It's not. Davis is so crazy he actually has a history of drafting the faster offensive linemen for some reason. There is really nothing else to say, other than, try to look at this for how bad it is as opposed to saying "this is good because the Raiders suck!!!" It's terrible.

(11) Matt Millen

There are so many ways you can qualify this option for the tournament. Is it his awful commentary alongside Joe Theismann? He could easily make it for that reason, he's just one of the worst. He's just ... he's wrong about everything. He doesnt' even know what he's talking about, which is weird for a guy with his experience. Also, in regards to his experience ... he sucks at drafting. Like a lot. Put him and Al Davis together and you'll get ... well, you'll get the DHB pick. Go figure.

Day 1: "America's Team" def. "New York FOOTBALL Giants" - 428-40
Day 2: Rookie Holdouts def. Week 16, 17 Byes - 266-65
Day 3: Seahawks Alternates def. Buccaneers Loser Uniforms - 328-118
Day 4: New Referee Rule Limiting No Huddle def. Icing The Kicker - 180-116
Day 5: Twitter Beefs def Madden Curse - 125-108
Day 6: Prevent Defense def. Wildcat Formation - 296-65
Day 7: Chris Berman's Mannerisms def. The Many Faces of Philip Rivers - 188-185
Day 8: Player 'X' Is A Football Player def. Player 'X' Is A Future Hall Of Famer - 194-96
Day 9: Brett Favre's Media Whoring def. New AFC and NFC Championship Trophies - 293-39
Day 10: Fans That Take It Too Far def Franchise Tag - 231-42
Day 11: Daniel Snyder def. Rex Ryan's Foot Fetish - 126-76
Day 12: Garth DeFelice def. Donovan McNabb And Overtime Rules - 207-48
Day 13: TV Blackouts def Player 'X' Always Being Wide Open - 253-43
Day 14: Players Celebrating When Down Big def. Being A "Poor Man's" Something - 244-35
Day 15: NFL's Exclusive License With EA def. Super Bowl Halftime Shows - 161-139
Day 16: Cortland Finnegan def. Frank Gore's Love For Moran Norris - 191-145
Day 17: Player 'X' Being A Bust After One Season def. Player 'X Is A Beast - 209-39
Day 18: Players Doing Stupid Things def. Rashard Mendenhall's Twitter Account - 129-55
Day 19: Tanking The Season To Draft Andrew Luck def. Need To Look At The Film - 152-119
Day 20: Less Cheerleaders versus Joe Theismann -

NN NFL Tournament of Badness Bracket and Results