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NN NFL Tournament of Badness: ESPN's Chris Berman and Players Being Football Players

I like the way the second round is looking thus far, we've got top seeds advancing as they should. For the most part, at any rate ... though I am in doubt of the seeding holding up in today's matchup. I will definitely be voting for the second-seeded "Player 'X' Is A Football Player" over "Chris Berman's Mannerisms" though there are few humans on the planet who anger up my blood like Berman. I'll vote for the former in just about every matchup throughout this tournament, it might take Brett Favre or the Dallas Cowboys to get me to vote against it. Which I suppose is like voting for it. Anyway, "Prevent Defense" is currently smashing "Twitter Beefs" and I imagine it will have won by the time this goes live.

So make the jump to read the descriptions of the participants for today, read full results from the opening round of the bracket, view the entire bracket. But first: remember, we are voting on what we believe to be the absolute worst thing of the two. If you're voting in a worst food contest, and you like pizza more than hamburgers, you would then vote for hamburgers in that matchup. Get it? Got it? Good. Make the jump.

(7) Chris Berman's Mannerisms

I do not give a damn about Chris Berman or what he has to say. If my car ran on damn that I could potentially give, I would be stuck at home. If you needed some give a damn in regards to Chris Berman to help you with something important in your life, you'd be screwed, because I've got none to offer. My ability to not give even the tiniest bit of damn is unmatched across the globe. That being said, he's unavoidable, the guy has been a mainstay in sportscasting for the last three hundred years or so, and he's been the exact same since the beginning. He's always trying to rhyme really weird words with player names, and if there is none suitable (or if he can't think of one), he just makes them up. He also makes the stupid WHOOP sound and it makes me want to drive a semi into an orphanage. Then there's this video. Oh yes. I mean oh no.

(2) Player 'X' Is A Football Player

There are some players who give more to the game of football than other players. There are players you can visibly tell are playing harder than other players. Somebody like Justin Smith is a guy with a never-ending motor who shows up for sixty minutes, regardless of the score at any given time in those sixty minutes. Somebody like Cris Collinsworth would say that Justin Smith is a "football player." Somebody like Cris Collinsworth draws my eternal ire unlike any other. I kind of know what it is that people are trying to convey when they say "this guy is a football player," but it happens to be different almost every time. Being a football player when said like this can mean you're good, you have a high motor, you can do a lot, or, considering the loose criteria, you exist. It's annoying, and there are better ways to describe it. I will ride this one all the way until the end if I can. I absolutely hate this saying. They are all football players, folks. Ugh.

NN NFL Tournament of Badness Bracket and Results

Day 35: Prevent Defense versus Twitter Beefs -
Day 34: New Referee Rule Limiting No Huddle def. Seahawks Alternates - 187-161
Day 33: Cowyboys Being Referred To As "America's Team" def. Rookie Holdouts - 340-112
Day 32: Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial def. Wins Being A Quarterback Stat - 151-52
Day 31: Under .500 Teams Making The Playoffs/Hosting def. Super Bowl Circus Week - 121-100
Day 30: Divas def. Kinda/Sorta Sudden Death Overtime - 155-100
Day 29: The Brady Six def. The New Schedule of the NFL Draft - 159-96
Day 28: Joe Buck def. New England Cheatriots - 187-165
Day 27: Racial Profiling a Player's Skillset def. Name Value MVPs - 122-102
Day 26: Undeserving Pro Bowlers def. Peter King - 182-66
Day 25: The Brady Rule def. Expensive Beer - 196-105
Day 24: Pro Bowl Being A Total Joke def. New Cowboys Stadium - 251-108
Day 23: The Tuck Rule def. God Cares Way Too Much About Football - 157-136
Day 22: New Kickoff Rule def. The Dancing Robot on FOX - 240-152
Day 21: Al Davis Drafting Like He's Being Advised By Ricky Bobby def. Matt Millen - 186-128
Day 20: Less Cheerleaders def. Joe Theismann - 182-139
Day 19: Tanking The Season To Draft Andrew Luck def. Need To Look At The Film - 152-119
Day 18: Players Doing Stupid Things def. Rashard Mendenhall's Twitter Account - 129-55
Day 17: Player 'X' Being A Bust After One Season def. Player 'X Is A Beast - 209-39
Day 16: Cortland Finnegan def. Frank Gore's Love For Moran Norris - 191-145
Day 15: NFL's Exclusive License With EA def. Super Bowl Halftime Shows - 161-139
Day 14: Players Celebrating When Down Big def. Being A "Poor Man's" Something - 244-35
Day 13: TV Blackouts def Player 'X' Always Being Wide Open - 253-43
Day 12: Garth DeFelice def. Donovan McNabb And Overtime Rules - 207-48
Day 11: Daniel Snyder def. Rex Ryan's Foot Fetish - 126-76
Day 10: Fans That Take It Too Far def Franchise Tag - 231-42
Day 9: Brett Favre's Media Whoring def. New AFC and NFC Championship Trophies - 293-39
Day 8: Player 'X' Is A Football Player def. Player 'X' Is A Future Hall Of Famer - 194-96
Day 7: Chris Berman's Mannerisms def. The Many Faces of Philip Rivers - 188-185
Day 6: Prevent Defense def. Wildcat Formation - 296-65
Day 5: Twitter Beefs def Madden Curse - 125-108
Day 4: New Referee Rule Limiting No Huddle def. Icing The Kicker - 180-116
Day 3: Seahawks Alternates def. Buccaneers Loser Uniforms - 328-118
Day 2: Rookie Holdouts def. Week 16, 17 Byes - 266-65
Day 1: "America's Team" def. "New York FOOTBALL Giants" - 428-40

NN NFL Tournament of Badness Bracket and Results