clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

NN NFL Tournament of Badness FINALS: Dallas Cowboys Being 'America's Team' and Too Many Commercials

New, comments

This is it. We've reached the end of the Niners Nation NFL Tournament of Badness. I started this two months ago during the lockout, in an effort to get something fun going on here and occupy some front page space. I didn't expect to get into it as much as I did, but now I'm itching to see which will win. While one choice may seem obvious in today's match, the apparently small annoyance of the other certainly adds up and could be a real force to be reckoned with it.

While this is the end of this current bracket, that doesn't mean it's the end for the winner. There may be some bonus matches afterward for a thing or two that were not included in the bracket. As for other potential brackets, I'd like some feedback - would people like more tournaments like these, so long as there's only one going on at once? I could certainly organize more and already have some ideas.

That aside, today we're looking at the one-seeded "Dallas Being Referred To As 'America's Team'" up against "Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial. This is a tournament of badness and as such, you need to be voting for the absolute worst of the two in any given matchup. I don't think I need to be saying it at this point, but just so there isn't any confusion ... I know that people have been confused by ballots and instructions before. Vote for which one you think is more awful than the other, so in the end, we can truly have the worst thing in the NFL. Jump for a look at the entrants, how they got here, and the full bracket.

How They Got Here

"Dallas Being Referred to as 'America's Team'" didn't face any worthy competition basically the entire time. It won its opening matchup 428-40 over the New York FOOTBALL Giants. It then went on to win matches by two hundred or more points over "Rookie Holdouts" "New Referee Rule" and the prevent defense before meeting "Brett Favre's Media Whoring" in the semifinals.

Favre's media whoring actually got the first couple votes and I thought we were looking at an upset here. Or at least, looking at however much of an upset something can be when it's two number-one seeds going at it. But "America's Team" would go on to complete its path to the finals with a 396-159 victory. Domination.

"Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial" kicked things off with a modest 151-52 win over "Wins Being A Quarterback Stat." I expected higher votals for something so annoying, so I did start to doubt my placement as a number-two seed, but it proved me right in its path to the finals. It wasn't challenged until it took on another two-seed, a two-seed that had eliminated a one-seed in "The Brady Rule."

Losing for a good portion of the match, "Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial" eventually made a comeback and took a 284-208 victory over "The Brady Rule" and blazed a path into the semifinals against the surprise entrant "Tanking The Season To Draft Andrew Luck." Another close and bloody battle ensued, with our entrant winning 472-373.

(1) Dallas Cowboys Being Referred To As "America's Team'"

Very few things in the National Football League incite as much anger, malice and downright disgust in San Francisco 49ers fans than the very mention of the Dallas Cowboys. It's a reciprocating relationship, mostly because the two titans of football did battle for many years and robbed each other of more than one Lombardi Trophy. I saw a Cowboys fan get dropkicked at Candlestick Park. During a St. Louis Rams game.

They've an owner full of himself, a team full of themselves and a fanbase to go with it all. At one point, somebody started referring to them as "America's Team." I'm sure I could look it up and see who exactly started it, but it's really inconsequential to the point: that people use it still. The fans think it's true and the team thinks it's true. They really enjoy being called "America's Team", when in reality, the majority of America hates them. Ask a random person on the street if they hate the Dallas Cowboys, chances are the response will need to utilize [site decorum].

There is no reason for this moniker, and no excuse for using it. If you use it, please never return to Niners Nation again and maybe even set yourself on fire. Thank you.

(2) Score, Commercial, Kickoff, Commercial

So much is robbed from the excitement of a touchdown these days. Of course, not every one is affected, but it's frequently annoying to see a touchdown, then have it go to commercial before the referee even finishes his touchdown signal. They'll fade right out as the players celebrate. I understand they have to get ready for the kickoff, but if you've ever attended a game, it doesn't take nearly that long. There's an awful lot of standing around waiting for the go-ahead from the referees, who are waiting for the go-ahead from the TV networks.

Football is as long as it is not because there's so much down time in between plays and quarters. Football is as long as it is because of the commercials. There's just too many. Every time something good happens, you get whisked away to a commercial. One tired team could get a reprieve because of a commercial. Maybe I just like the time after a touchdown an awful lot, and the time before a kickoff. Sometimes the networks come back right before the ball is kicked and there's no time to get excited.

Just rubbish, basically.

NN NFL Tournament of Badness Bracket and Results