Best NFC West Division Jokes (Edited to Reflect Your Contributions)

I wanted to put together a list of some really good jokes that I have heard/read/found online.

To be fair and not make anyone think that I'm encouraging trolls, I'm going to include some jokes about the 49ers too.

Do you know any good sports jokes?

Arizona Cardinals:

Seen at an Arizona-area car dealership: "Will the woman who left her 12 kids at Sun Devil Stadium please pick them up? They are beating the Cardinals 37-0!"

Q: Why doesn't Tuscon have a professional football team?

A: Because then Phoenix would want one.

Q: How do you keep the Arizona Cardinals out of your yard?

A: Put up goalposts.

Q: Did you hear that the Arizona Cardinals don't have a team website?

A: They can't string three "W's" together.

The best NFC West joke: The Cardinals. (CK)

San Francisco 49ers:

The San Francisco Police are trying to crack down on speeders. For your first speeding offense, they give you two 49ers tickets. For your second offense, they make you use them.

Q: How many San Francisco 49ers does it take to change a tire?

A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up.

Patrick Willis wears pads and a helmet because it is mandated by the league rules. Everyone else in the NFL wears pads and a helmet because of Patrick Willis.

Patrick Willis wasn't the eleventh pick of the draft, he was the first... TWICE.

Q: What is the difference between Joe Montana and getting change for a dollar?

A: With a dollar, you can still get 4 quarters. (bignerd)

From Marc Ragovin, a joke for disgruntled 49ers fans: "What is the difference between the NFL and WWE?"

"One stages sporting exhibitions with predetermined results aided by complicit referees, while the other features The Rock."


4 Football Fans:

A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a 49ers fan, and a Rams fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. ‘This is for the Redskins! ’ he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, ’This is for the Eagles!’ and throws himself off the mountain.
The Rams fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, ‘This is for everyone!’ and pushes the 49ers fan off the mountain. (Enabling Ewe)

Q: What's the difference between a carp and a 49ers fan?

A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish! (Enabling Ewe)

Q: What is a 49ers' fans favorite wine?

A: "We can’t be Saint Louis!" (Enabling Ewe)

Q: What's the difference between a 49ers' fan and a baby?

A: The baby will stop whining after a while! (Enabling Ewe)

Seattle Seahawks:

Q: If you have a car containing a Seahawks defensive back, a Seahawks running back, and a Seahawks linebacker, who is driving?
A: The cop.

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Seattle Seahawks.

Q: What do you call a Seattle Seahawks player with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What did the Seahawks' fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Mom, why did you wake me up?!? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q: How many Seattle Seahawks does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.

Q: Why did the Seahawk cross the road?

A: It didn't. As soon as it went on the road, it got run over. (germinator)

Son to Father: "Dad, what's a Lombardi Trophy?"

Father to Son: "I don't know, son. We're Seahawks fans." (Burnin Davis)

Q: What do Seahawks fans do after their team wins the Super Bowl?

A: Turn off the Xbox.


'I saw a bumper sticker today that said: "Go ahead and key my car and slash my tires…

Technically it didn’t say that but it did say: "Seahawks Fan".'

St. Louis Rams

Q: What do the Rams and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: Why is the St. Louis area immune to tornadoes?
A: There are no touchdowns there.

Q: What do Billy Graham and the St. Louis Rams have in common?
A: Both can get thousands of people to say: "Jesus Christ!"


'A young boy was brought into family court to voice his opinion on whom he would like to stay with following his parents divorce.

The judge put on her sweetest old lady voice and asked, "Timmy, who would you like to live with?"

Timmy said, innocently, "I don’t know"

The judge continued, "Would you like to stay with your mommy?"

Timmy said, slowly, "No, she beats me"

The judge, most affirmatively now, said, "So you’d like to stay with your daddy?"

Timmy responded, with trepidation, "No, he beats me too".

Flustered, the judge asks, "Well, is there ANYONE you’d like to live with?"

Timmy thought for a moment, and smiled as he said, "The Los Angeles Rams!!"

The judge, confused, asked, "But, why?"

Timmy confidently replied, "Because they don’t beat nobody!"'


Einstein is at a party. He approaches a man and asks him: "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man answers: "242." Einstein replies: "Wow, you're really smart..." and they proceed to converse about quantum physics, the theory of relativity and a lot of other complicated stuff.

Shortly afterwards, Einstein grows bored and approaches a woman at the party. He asks her: "Ma'am, what is your IQ?" She says: "142." Einstein replies: "Hmmm, you, as a normal person, would probably be interested in social topics. What do you think about global warming?" They discuss that for a few minutes, then Einstein grows bored again and moves on.

He finds another man and asks him: "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man says: "42." Einstein gets a ponderous look on his face, softly rubs his chin for a moment, and then replies: "How 'bout them Raiders?"

Q: What separates the best team in the NFL from the worst team in the NFL?

A: The Bay Bridge. (Burnin Davis)

Random Joke:

Overheard while attending a party in the late 40's/early 50's:

Marilyn Monroe to random guest when told that Albert Einstein is present: "Could you imagine if he and I had a child? It would be gorgeous like me and brilliant like him!"

Einstein's reply when told of what she said: "True, but what if it came out ugly like me and dumb like her?" (916-49-ers)

Hope you enjoyed them!


This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.