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NFL hires Singletary, Raye as coaching advisers

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The NFL inks two advisers who can reshape the way coaches coach.

Kirby Lee/Image of Sport-USA TODAY Sports
Kirby Lee/Image of Sport-USA TODAY Sports

The NFL has discovered an opportunity to better its coaches and players by way of some advisers -- who will report to executive vice president of football operations Troy Vincent -- and they don't plan to waste this opportunity.

In a day and age where men are lead by other men who smack gum inside of smirking, flapping mouths or others with pens swinging around their neck as their face turns red, the league recognizes that a return to normalcy is needed. The NFL should be lead by manly men, men who command respect.

Men who send players back to the locker -- but not before returning for their helmet -- after a mental lapse

Enter one Mike Singletary, former head football coach of the San Francisco 49ers. If anyone should be shaping future coaches, and serving as a liaison between the game's current crop of play callers and the league, I can think of no one better suited. And, apparently, neither can the NFL.

Oh, and lookie here, Jimmy Raye is coming along for the ride! I can only imagine what his advice will be to the new coaches he's teaching.

JR: Up the gut.
NC: What?
JR: Up the gut. With Frank Gore.
NC: We don't have Frank Go..
JR: Up the gut.
MS: *drops trou*
NC: What is this, I don't even?
MS: Listen to coach, son!
JR: Up the gut.

That's right. Men who bare their posterior, not to random passing by cars, but to the very players they intend to motivate at halftime of their first game at the helm.

These are the coaches the NFL intends to breed in their training grounds. And, by golly, these are the men Singletary and Raye will give them.