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49ers mad libs: Fooch is in Las Vegas, albeit briefly

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The Fourth of July holiday is fast approaching, and to celebrate it, I will be meeting up with family for a few days. I'm flying to Las Vegas Wednesday afternoon, and returning next Tuesday morning. In between we'll be driving out of town (out of the state entirely) Thursday morning, and returning Sunday afternoon.

This means Wednesday afternoon and all day Monday I'll be in Las Vegas. It might be only a limited time in Las Vegas, but we know how quickly things can go bad. History has shown, this could be bad news for 49ers fans. The last time I was in Las Vegas, Patrick Willis retired, and we got word that Justin Smith was expected to retire. This "curse" started with Scot McCloughan leaving the organization in 2010, and it seems like every time I go, something bad happens.

With that in mind, I'm just going to make this easier for everybody involved. Below is a bit of a Mad Libs of potential scenarios that could happen. Many would consider this in good fun, but this could best serve our purposes given what frequently happens during my trips to Las Vegas.

The San Francisco 49ers are back in the news in an otherwise slow period of the offseason. [49ers player 1] has [retired, been arrested, been released, been traded]. 49ers fans have dealt with a lot of drama this offseason. For the fans of many teams, this news would be [adjective], but for 49ers fans, it is simply [adjective]. It is safe to say 49ers fans will not take this well over the Fourth of July holiday, drinking [beverage] to dull the pain of another crazy piece of news.

General manager Trent Baalke released a statement once the news became official:

[Insert statement of choice]

The San Francisco 49ers depth chart will [improve, struggle] with this news. Looks for [49ers player 2] to see a bigger opportunity in [49ers player 1]'s absence when training camp gets going in a few weeks.