Normally, I'd write an entertaining ditty about how Madden sabotaged me yet again. Receivers would drop throws, the offensive line was a piece of paper. You know stuff like that where we all know where I'm coming from.
Not today. Today Madden took it easy on me. Why you might ask? Well like many teams at this point, the St. Louis Rams are out a quarterback. No Nick Foles, nor Case Keenum. No, the Rams offense was led by Dustin Vaughn. A few of you may have no idea who Dustin Vaughn is, so I'll give it a shot. Vaughn was a quarterback at West Texas A&M who racked up 10,525 passing yards and 123 touchdowns in his three years as a starter. The kid was later signed as an undrafted free agent by the Dallas Cowboys following the 2014 draft. He then was released and signed briefly with the Buffalo Bills before getting released as well.
That's where the reality ends. In video game-land, Vaughn signed with the St. Louis Rams and became their starting quarterback. Given that this kid surprised people for making the Cowboys squad as a third stringer, and lost that job to Kellen Moore of all people, even Madden logic would dictate this guy couldn't do much.
That's not to say on the lone attempt that we had Madden didn't try their brand of sabotage. There was a touchdown to Tavon Austin that was left with about 10 shrugged tackles in the open field, but beyond that, this Vaughn guy isn't very good. At all. 20 yard loss sacks, erratic throws and an interception by Ian Williams (yes, you read that right), can only indicate I whipped up on the Rams offense pretty easily. And it's the Rams, which makes that pretty awesome.
How Colin Kaepernick completed not one, but two touchdown passes, as well as Jarryd Hayne rushing in for a third and a 21-3 victory against a top-5 defense in the franchise is a glitch I may never have an explanation for. Yes, Colin Kaepernick. Blaine Gabbert is out after his dislocated ankle last week and is slapped with a 6 week recovery time. Meaning if I can take this team all the way to the Super Bowl, Kaepernick will be the one to hoist the trophy.
The Playoff Picture:
Now that the 49ers are 16-0, that means we get a bye and also home field advantage...if that does anything in a Madden game. Who are the other playoff teams? Well only two teams in the NFC made it in our franchise as well as real life. On the NFC side of things the 49ers and the New Orleans Saints get the 1st and 2nd seeds respectively, and a week off. Wild Card weekend has the following games:
Cowboys @ Eagles
Seahawks @ Lions
You have to admit that's pretty funny. Not only the Seahawks make it in as the only team in the playoffs both in reality and fantasy, but the Cowboys? The Eagles? Obviously, there's no way to predict any of this, but looking at how the season has turned out you can't help but laugh. Not to mention the New Orleans Saints snapped up the 2nd seed, which is hilarious on its own given they have their own set of problems.
On the other end in the AFC, it's mildly more accurate. We have the Houston Texans with the no. 1 seed and the San Diego Chargers with the number 2 seed. To round it out for wild card weekend:
Titans @ Patriots
Broncos @ Steelers
Yes, I fell on the floor laughing as well. No disrespect to the Titans, but I don't think many had them penciled in for the playoffs unless it was a sleeper pick. I'm certain many didn't expect the Chargers to have the season they have had, so them making it into the playoffs makes sense, despite their awful season.
And there you have it. We have three more games where we can watch Madden go into all sorts of breakage before this is out. The 49ers may be a terrible team in real life, but in video game-land, they are the best in the league.
Right now, video game-land is an awesome place to be.