Make no mistake folks, I derive no pleasure from my doomsaying. It’s a burden thrust upon me by the shrieking, gaping maw of my own inherent doom. The San Francisco 49ers are doomed, and it’s my opinion that they’re far more doomed after their overtime loss to the Arizona Cardinals than they were before it.
Kyle Shanahan’s team looked completely undisciplined and out of his control over the course of the game. The secondary was laughably bad for much of the game, starter Rashard Robinson especially. I’ll have a lot more to say breaking things down from a football perspective — film study, stats and what have you — a bit later.
But for now, I’ll exercise my expertise in being completely, utterly, unequivocally doomed to establish the spectrum of doom the 49ers have been throughout this season.
We’ve been running these polls after every game and what we’ve observed is interesting: after Week 1, 43 percent of people thought the 49ers were most doomed (Zane Beadles Doomed), with just 3 percent picking least doomed (Joe Staley Doomed).
After the Week 2 loss to the Seattle Seahawks, though, 33 percent of people voted somewhat doomed (Marquise Goodwin Doomed), with just 19 percent picking most doomed (Trying To Tackle Russell Wilson Doomed).
Then, after a Week 3 loss to the Los Angeles Rams, 37 percent of people voted for pretty doomed (49ers Injuries Doomed). Least doomed was the least-popular option.
So what I’ve determined ... is that you all are unpredictable, chaotic monsters with no consistency and this entire experiment is ... well, it’s doomed.
And, like the 49ers, we’re going to continue on even in the face of this unflinching doom. The 49ers are doomed, perhaps more now than they have been all season, perhaps less. The pass rush looked good. Carlos Hyde looked good. A lot of things looked bad.
So, let’s get right to it: how doomed are the 49ers? They’re winless, with multiple narrow, gut-wrenching losses. It’s good for the draft pick positioning, but I hate thinking about that kind of thing in Week 4.
How doomed are the 49ers?
This poll is closed
Penalties Doomed (Most Doomed)
Cardinals Offensive Line Doomed (Pretty Doomed)
Trying To Tackle Carlos Hyde Doomed (Somewhat Doomed)
Please Dear God Stop The Injuries Doomed (Kinda Doomed)
12-4 Doomed (Least Doomed)