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Niners Nation DOOM Index: Just how doomed is Kyle Shanahan?

The San Francisco 49ers have a lot of fresh, new faces anDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

When you really think about it, there are few questions facing the San Francisco 49ers going forward. Many have been answered over the past few months — they have a front office structure, a head coach, a starting quarterback, a set defensive scheme, a new draft class to survey, and a 90-man roster.

The questions that remain are big picture questions. Will Kyle Shanahan find success as a head coach? Have the 49ers made the right decisions drafting high along the defensive line the past three years? Will Jed York and Paraag Marathe remain out of the way?

Even starting battles aren’t that close as far as I’m concerned. The roster bubble isn’t hard to predict, either. I think we should have a good idea of which 22 players will see the field the most in Week 1, but what we don’t know is whether or not those 22 players will find any success under Shanahan.

Actually, we do know — at least I know. They’re doomed. And so are you. And so am I.

Everything is doomed, especially the 49ers. Shanahan is doomed. Brian Hoyer is doomed. Solomon Thomas is doomed. There is no escaping the gaping maw of doom, no prying oneself from its grasp and no hope whatsoever.

But it’s a spectrum, as we’ve all come to understand. There are degrees of doom. I, for instance, am exceptionally doomed because I’m dealing with severe tooth pain presently. There is nothing on the planet worse than tooth pain. I’m basically dying, and am therefore incredibly, impossibly doomed.

The 49ers might actually be a bit less doomed than I am. It’s close.

So we’re post-free agency, post-NFL Draft, post-rookie minicamp and now there’s precious little left of substance before we get into the important training camp and preseason games. The 90-man roster is relatively set. Right now would be a good time to gauge just how doomed the 49ers are.

Most of you should know the drill by now. Vote for how doomed you think the 49ers are. Past DOOM INDEX poll results can be found in this Imgur album, minus the last edition due to poll issues at the time. Keep it clean, keep it friendly — we’re all doomed together.


How doomed are the 49ers?

This poll is closed

  • 9%
    NaVorro Bowman Trade Rumors Doomed (Most Doomed)
    (138 votes)
  • 11%
    Aaron Lynch’s Dietitian Doomed (Pretty Doomed)
    (166 votes)
  • 21%
    Blaine Gabbert Just Got Signed Doomed (Somewhat Doomed)
    (304 votes)
  • 21%
    Carlos Hyde’s Expiring Contract Doomed (Kinda Doomed)
    (305 votes)
  • 35%
    Trading With The Chicago Bears Doomed (Least Doomed)
    (498 votes)
1411 votes total Vote Now