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Golden Nuggets: An Increasingly Depressing Narrative

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A daily compilation of 49ers news from around the interbutts. Saturday, May 27th, 2017 edition.

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Good morning friends,

In the interim days between OTA sessions, we’re limited to “human interest” busywork articles to fill space. Fortunately, today saw a rather fortuitous mixture of major articles:

  • A modern, short term historical biography of Kyle Shanahan
  • The BREAKING NEWZ of Chip Kelly going the Tebow route joining ESPN
  • A useless hit piece from a nobody against James Joseph Harbaugh

Noticing this, I had two distinct reactions. First, I was concerned that Jim Tomsula wasn’t mentioned - I eventually rationalized that had he been mentioned, it would likely be in relation to a (whatever kind of sandwich Washington D.C. calls it’s own) eating contest. Second, it really dawned on me that we’ve had 4 head coaches in a 4 year span.

This brings me to the only point I have to make tonight - my special powers of cursory google searches, albeit with well-worded queries, brought me a mountain of results that included my keywords but nothing near a straight answer. Perhaps one of you folks with working knowledge that extends beyond my years could answer this trivia question: has there ever been a post-merger National Football League team that has had 4 head coaches in as many years? I ask this seriously, I just don’t know, but I feel like it’s an unprecedented sequence of events.

Add that to the precipitous loss of talent, eventually foundation players, eventually identity - and the storyline is set for, perhaps, the sharpest decline in a competitive team, in the history of the NFL. Some day soon, we will see an ESPN 30 for 48 or 14 for 92, or whatever it is, documenting the hell we as fans have endured over the past few years. It really was trash.

If there’s any upside to our 4th HC in as many years, it’s that for now, we can allow ourselves some extremely cautious optimism, if only because it, by virtue, it’s different. A hallmark of this type of optimism is the wisdom to say, “signs of progression this year, means next year is our year”.

I didn’t name this Nuggets “An Increasingly Depressing Narrative” for nothing. We’re the Browns until we’re not.

Cheer up though, my friends, we’ve got sweet Nuggets:

VMcD on Shanahan | Maiocco, CSN Bay Area

Chip Kelly signs with ESPN as Studio Analyst | Maiocco, CSN Bay Area

Brandon Jacobs whines butt about God Emperor Harbaugh | Mano, Mercury

A Brief History: Kyle Shanahan as a Head Coach | Wagoner, ESPN

Coaching staff keeping LB Reuben Froster in bubble wrap | Wagoner, ESPN

2017’s poetic waxing about firing AHMAD | Rumbeck, 49ers Webzone

Bonilla on Barrows: Keep an eye on Lorenzo Jerome | Bonilla, 49ers Webzone

(Infographic) Don’t underestimate Bo | Neumann, PFF

NBC names Fearless Leader David Fucillo by name, other stuff | Williams, NBC Bay Area

Also

Fonch’s Greatest Hits | Lockdown Records Presents: “A Niners Nation Christmas”