Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years! The last time we spoke, the Niners Nation DOOM Index was on its last legs, perhaps on its way out. It wasn’t definitively retired, and over the past couple weeks I’ve been feeling that nagging, tugging pull of outright despair and now I know why: the San Francisco 49ers are well and truly doomed.
There is no way around it. Jimmy Garoppolo is a band-aid on the gaping tear of the cosmos. We can only walk with them, just as doomed as they are, especially in the wake of the Reuben Foster arrest for marijuana possession in Alabama on Friday.
Needless to say, the 49ers have had a better start to their offseason than this. Foster’s arrest is a major concern not because anything about marijuana is particularly troublesome, but because it shows a startling lapse of judgment for a player with all the money and success in the world ahead of him.
I won’t compare him to Aldon Smith, and neither should anybody with a functioning brain — the situations and substances involved are much different. Smith had a physical addiction and a real problem. Foster, for all the information we have, made a stupid mistake. It’s true that there are two paths from here: one where Foster realizes the dumb mistake he made and the fact that he can recover from it and one where Josh Gordon happens.
Either way, I think we all need to decompress a little, and what better way to do that then apply actual real totally legitimate science to abject despondency? The last time we spoke, the 49ers were experiencing levels of doom consistent with those of a winning team, surprisingly. Will it continue in that direction? You folks tell me.
You can find past DOOM INDEX results here.
How doomed are the 49ers?
This poll is closed
Bro Just Smoke It In California Doomed (Most Doomed)
All That Cinnamon Toast Crunch Makes Sense Now Doomed (Pretty Doomed)
The Only Way I Can Feel Better About Reuben Foster’s Arrest Is To Smoke More Doomed (Somewhat Doomed)
Alabama, Really? Doomed (Kinda Doomed)
Doom Index Doomed (Least Doomed)