clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Jimmy Garoppolo Nickname Tournament Finals

Which name will emerge victorious after 4 rounds of hard fought battle?

Jacksonville Jaguars v San Francisco 49ers

After three hard fought battles, it’s time to crown a champion in the Jimmy Garoppolo nickname tournament!

“The Franchise” entered the tournament on an Adrian Colbert shaped rocket ship and lasted longer than many predicted. Despite the late surge it was no match for the favorite. Jimmy GQ added over 3,000 votes during the final four, earning a spot in the finals. With a total of 10,309 votes over the course of the tournament, Jimmy GQ is definitely sitting pretty.

It’s come to my attention that some don’t get the GQ reference. First, let me congratulate you on emerging from your nuclear bunker unscathed. I hear Alicia Silverstone is looking for you. Now, here’s a visual guide, courtesy of tonysalamone. Personally, I think this is the best Channing Tatum has ever looked.

Optimus Dime made quick work of Jimmy Goatroppolo, but still enters the championship as a clear underdog. Voters rewarded the nickname’s creativity with 7,957 total votes throughout the tournament. The nickname does not rely on puns or simple rhyming schemes. And it wields double entendres for both offensive prowess and Garoppolo’s number 10 with ease.

In a world where announcers called Calvin Johnson “Megatron” regularly, the primary hurdle for this name may not be in sports announcers. It may be that the nickname was bestowed on someone in the sports world already. And once it’s made the Internet’s official dictionary, it’s effectively gospel.

There may be no Minnesota Miracle in this tournament, but we’ll always have this.

The Bracket

The Final Round Vote

Voting ends Monday at 11:59 pm pacific. As you vote, R]remember the immortal words of Henry David Thoreau:

I cast my vote, perchance, as I think right; but I am not vitally concerned that that right should prevail. I am willing to leave it to the majority. Its obligation, therefore, never exceeds that of expediency.

If you can’t see the poll, click here.


The Jimmy Garoppolo Nickname Tournament Finals

This poll is closed

  • 75%
    Jimmy GQ
    (3643 votes)
  • 24%
    Optimus Dime
    (1162 votes)
4805 votes total Vote Now