FanPost

Breaking News: Ray Finkle Spotted Lurking about 49ers Facilities

Dateline Santa Clara, CA:

The San Francisco 49ers have recently been at odds with kicker Robbie Gould, having recently used their franchise tag on him to prevent him pursuing a deal in the open market. Gould would reportedly like to move back closer to his family, while the 49ers would like to retain the services of one of the most accurate and effective kickers in recent history.

The Santa Clara Beat quoted Gould recently as saying: "Yeah... I'd like to get the F*** outta here" while 49ers General Manager was also quoted in the same article as stating "Yeah. He can squeal all he wants. We're keepin' dat sumbitch in town. And if'n he ain't, we'll get someone to take care of our business!"

And then things got interesting.

As fate would have it, famed former (and disgraced) Miami Dolphins kicker Ray Finkle - who recently completed his 25 year sentence for kidnapping, identify theft, and related weapons charges in bizarre revenge plot against Dan Marino in 1994 - read of the dispute and traveled to the Golden State, intent on redeeming himself.

The Beat spotted Finkle today - Day 1 of the 2019 NFL Draft - lurking about the 49ers facilities and asked him what he was looking to accomplish. Finkle replied: "Ya know? I've made mistakes and they've been embarrassingly public. Not that BIG one, I mean... that was on Dan. He should have turned the laces out, you see...." Finkle continued "Now that there is this need in Santa Clara...with an ascending team? I feel like I could turn life around after paying my debt to society. And, I mean, at least they have a human mascot."

So there's that. There IS a kicker option in town, should Gould and the team be unable to resolve their disputes.

File Photo: Ray Finkle, Circa 1988

Ray Finkle

In related news: Finkle was wearing some very practical-looking slip-on shoes.

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Niners Nation's writers or editors.